Having spent most of yesterday on the 'phone to various financial institutions both here and back home, (and, you know, the Samaritans) have persuaded the DoE to let me resubmit my application as a non-supported full-time student, therefore taking my idiot parents out of the equation entirely. Have also discovered that there's a Parish Fund I can apply for. So, things not so dark.

Am still considering killing my parents, because although getting caught would mean I lose my right to inherit, and even if I got away with it it would be months 'til I saw any money, I feel the deed itself would bring me a great sense of tranquility.

No, no, I kid.

Well, mostly.