There are not, on the whole, many things that would make me wish I lived in America. In fact, apart from the International House of Pancakes (why don't we have those over here? Seriously, why? How many fucking Starbucks does one city need, and not a single place to get delicious pancakes?) the only thing I really envy is the effort they put into Halloween. Like, I'm sat here watching Jericho, and bear in mind these people have just survived a nuclear Apocalypse, not to mention the fact that they live in Kansas so their lives must be shitty anyway, what with the hurricanes and Superman being such a dick and all, but when Halloween rolls around, the decorations go up, the costumes go on and the candy comes out. Over here the only acknowledgement we get is like, a selection of three shitty plastic masks at your local 24-hour Spar, and that's only if it's a big Spar.

Seriously, England. Learn.