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Jun. 21st, 2011 08:12 pmSo I got home today and the bathroom I share with the twins absolutely reeked of BO. I cornered them after tea to unmask the guilty stink-making party:
Froodle: What the fuck have you done to the green bathroom?
Buzz: What's wrong with it?
Froodle: It reeks of sweaty old sweat! How did you even do that?! It's a bathroom, it should be used for washing stench away, not grinding it in.
Prawn: Oh, that was me. I went for a bike ride and when I came back I tried to rub the sweat off with your towel, but then the towel was all wet so I put it on the radiator to dry it for you but it just spread the sweat-fumes around even more.
Froodle: My towel?
Buzz: The purple one?
Prawn: Yeah.
Froodle: You suck, that's mine, it's the only fluffy towel left in our airing cupboard! Now I'll have to use your fucking scrubby rags to dry myself!
Buzz: Hahah! You'll have to burn it now, you can't wash out Prawnsweat.
Prawn: Don't you laugh, Buzzy-Buzzy-Gum-Gums. After I had a shower I dried my body with the dressing gown you're wearing.
Froodle: Hah!
Prawn: Yep, there's probably a few dozen ginger pubes mashed into the wool now, that's a nice treat to stick to your wet skin when you put it on.
Froodle: We're going to have to call you Buzzy-Buzzy-Prawn-Prawn now.
Buzz: You're a fucking dickhead, William! You take my stuff and you always ruin it!
Prawn: At least it wasn't hot-rock burns this time. This is why I never return your stuff - whenever I do, you're like, "Waaahhhh, there's little burn holes in this, William, you always ruin my things!"
Froodle: So the stuff with little burn holes in actually belongs to Buzz?
Prawn: Yeah, but he always cries about it so don't give them back to him.
Froodle: Oh, okay.
Buzz: What?
Froodle: There were a load of really nice stuff from Superdry on the laundry rack, but since they all had hot-rock burns in I assumed they were the Prawns...
Buzz: They're mine! Nobody else in this stupid family wears Superdry! Only me! What did you do with them?
Froodle: I put them on Prawn's bed...
Prawn: *racing up the stairs* Ahh, looks like there's some nice Superdry t-shirts here for me to rub my ginger spore on!
Buzz: *pounding after him* Give me my fucking stuff back!
Prawn: *slams and locks his door*
Buzz: LET ME IN!
Prawn: *through the door* Go away, I'm smoking some foul doobies and if you disturb me I'll drop hot-rocks all over my nice t-shirts.
Buzz: I HATE THIS FUCKING FAMILY!
Prawn: *through the door* Nice going, Buzz, I just burnt a big hole in my super-smart new hoodie thanks to you.
Buzz: Fuck you William, you left your shoes downstairs, I'm going to fucking piss in them if you don't open this door and give me my stuff back!
Prawn: *yep, still through the door* Do it, I stole them off Johnny anyway.
Buzz: *to me* This is all your fault!
Froodle: Well, I'd offer to lend you some of my clothes but frankly I don't think you have the tits for them.
Froodle: What the fuck have you done to the green bathroom?
Buzz: What's wrong with it?
Froodle: It reeks of sweaty old sweat! How did you even do that?! It's a bathroom, it should be used for washing stench away, not grinding it in.
Prawn: Oh, that was me. I went for a bike ride and when I came back I tried to rub the sweat off with your towel, but then the towel was all wet so I put it on the radiator to dry it for you but it just spread the sweat-fumes around even more.
Froodle: My towel?
Buzz: The purple one?
Prawn: Yeah.
Froodle: You suck, that's mine, it's the only fluffy towel left in our airing cupboard! Now I'll have to use your fucking scrubby rags to dry myself!
Buzz: Hahah! You'll have to burn it now, you can't wash out Prawnsweat.
Prawn: Don't you laugh, Buzzy-Buzzy-Gum-Gums. After I had a shower I dried my body with the dressing gown you're wearing.
Froodle: Hah!
Prawn: Yep, there's probably a few dozen ginger pubes mashed into the wool now, that's a nice treat to stick to your wet skin when you put it on.
Froodle: We're going to have to call you Buzzy-Buzzy-Prawn-Prawn now.
Buzz: You're a fucking dickhead, William! You take my stuff and you always ruin it!
Prawn: At least it wasn't hot-rock burns this time. This is why I never return your stuff - whenever I do, you're like, "Waaahhhh, there's little burn holes in this, William, you always ruin my things!"
Froodle: So the stuff with little burn holes in actually belongs to Buzz?
Prawn: Yeah, but he always cries about it so don't give them back to him.
Froodle: Oh, okay.
Buzz: What?
Froodle: There were a load of really nice stuff from Superdry on the laundry rack, but since they all had hot-rock burns in I assumed they were the Prawns...
Buzz: They're mine! Nobody else in this stupid family wears Superdry! Only me! What did you do with them?
Froodle: I put them on Prawn's bed...
Prawn: *racing up the stairs* Ahh, looks like there's some nice Superdry t-shirts here for me to rub my ginger spore on!
Buzz: *pounding after him* Give me my fucking stuff back!
Prawn: *slams and locks his door*
Buzz: LET ME IN!
Prawn: *through the door* Go away, I'm smoking some foul doobies and if you disturb me I'll drop hot-rocks all over my nice t-shirts.
Buzz: I HATE THIS FUCKING FAMILY!
Prawn: *through the door* Nice going, Buzz, I just burnt a big hole in my super-smart new hoodie thanks to you.
Buzz: Fuck you William, you left your shoes downstairs, I'm going to fucking piss in them if you don't open this door and give me my stuff back!
Prawn: *yep, still through the door* Do it, I stole them off Johnny anyway.
Buzz: *to me* This is all your fault!
Froodle: Well, I'd offer to lend you some of my clothes but frankly I don't think you have the tits for them.
