...way out on the corner of fucked up and evil...

Just finished watching Desperate Romantics - I'm aware that some of the MASSIVE LIBERTIES taken with historical accuracy should be making me wince, but somehow Slutty Frockcoat-Wearing Mitchell makes me not care. Though I do think he could have beeen naked more often, and also if he could have seen his way clear to debauching the narrator dude - who was so clearly gagging for it - that would be even better. Come on Rossetti, put a little effort into it!

However, those slight criticisms aside, I do think that any series that ends with Aiden Turner gleefully robbing somebodys grave before scampering off into the night is quite beautiful despite any other failings it may have.

Also, oh my God, there is Twin Peaks slash. Did everyone know this but me? Best. Day. Ever.

So, no thanks to you bunch of losers, I managed to find out what the deal with slutty frockcoat-wearing Mitchell was - it's a TV adaptation of Desperate Romantics, a book which, by the way, totally does not feature enough Romantic-era debauchery for my liking.

But anyway, I got hold of the first episode, and oh my God, he's so slutty! I want to cover him in butter, put him between two slices of bread and make him into a slut sandwich. He will taste like pure, unadulterated pretty.

Dudes! So I was skimming the Metro this morning and there was a picture of Mitchell. And he was wearing a frockcoat and looking slutty! But I got distracted and put the paper down and forgot about it and now I don't know what it was about and googling "slutty frockcoat mitchell" isn't yielding any kind of useful results.

Please tell me! What is the import of slutty, frockcoat-wearing Mitchell? Should I be excited? Is this some kind of Being Human spin-off that covers his bad vamp days, when he and Herrick rampaged across the landscape like a really sick-and-wrong buddy movie?

Because I would totally watch that.

GAYEST NINJAS EVER! Oh my fucking God, why is there not more Being Human? Like, right now. I need it! I'm trying to watch Mad Men and I can't even lust after YoSaffBridge properly because I'm getting cranky that there is no flaily werewolf action. Jon Hamm would be an awesome werewolf, but he wouldn't flail. Probably. He'd just be morose and sad and then randomly fucking punch you in your face!

Also on the subject of Mad Men, I am so glad Brickhead gave her baby away. Can you imagine how ugly the child of her and Connor would be? Seriously. It would in fact be Sloth. Gross.

Dude. Don. Quit looking into your drink all sad-like and do some flailing. Your handsome face no longer pleases me.

Dudes, how did Herrick ever get made a vampire? He totally has no neck. Seriously, he is like, George Lucas and Elijah Wood levels of necklessness. What did they bite?

Also, I want to get a soundbite of George saying "Oh, and it's one E in paedo, not two, you cretins!" and make it the sound for text messages on my phone. Because that line is SO MUCH WIN. Close runner-ups were "I'm not the pervert, that's my housemate. And actually, he's not a pervert either" and "Who keeps their rotten tomatoes? Who looks in their salad cooler, sees their tomatoes are on the turn and thinks 'oh no, no I'll hang on to those in case some paedos move in opposite'?", but I think maximum win goes to being targeted by an angry mob of neighbours for being a child-molester and still caring about correct spelling.

Dudes, Being Human is completely awesome. The show, I mean, not actually being human, because as I have said previously, that's actually a bit rub. But anyway, oh my God, George! I love him! He is my favouritest werewolf of all the werewolves throughout the recorded history of time! He's so shrill and flaily and random.

Annie and Mitchell are also good. Evil Fiance Owen is good in the sense that he is horrifying and evil. Herrick is not good, because he's like a poor mans' Holland Manners, who in turn was a bargain basement version of the Mayor. But mostly GEORGE! Oh, he is so wonderful. I hope it runs for millions of years and I never get bored or snarky about it and they never introduce lame plots where, FOR EXAMPLE, Lauren turns up with Mitchell's baby whose arrival was foretold by prophecy and who has the power to RUIN EVERYTHING THAT IS GOOD ABOUT THE SHOW EVER AND GENERALLY WHINE AND HAVE A STUPID FUCKING FACE.

Oh God Vincent Kartheiser, I fucking hate you.