...way out on the corner of fucked up and evil...

Thank God it is the weekend! I am going to eat approximately fourteen-five cakes and try to push aside the sense of dread that has been steadily growing in me since I learned that an agent universally referred to in Helpermonkey meetings as "that fucking Cave Troll" will be joining my team on Monday. SO UNFAIR! Seriously dudes, you might think I'm being harsh, but if I was to show you her picture, I guarantee the first words that sprang unbidden into your minds would be "WHO'S THAT TRIP-TRAPPING OVER MY BRIDGE?!" Ugh. If I disappear, she has either eaten me or forced me to take my own life in order to avoid the horror of dealing with her Cave Trollish fucktardery.

Anyway, moving on, here is a list of things that are beautiful:

• I have awesome werewolf shoes. They are awesome. I cannot walk in them, but this is hardly a deciding factor when rating their werewolfy beauty. I like to put them on and admire them while I eat my tea. Then I take them off when I need to get up, for their heels are very high and skinny.
  
  
• So NoTORIous is wonderful. Yes it is. Yes, it is. SHUT UP NO JUDGING!
  
  
• Twist is possibly the most perfect movie ever. I cannot express how much more complete my life feels after seeing Beautiful Nick Stahl perform oral sex on his own brother.*
  
  
• OH GOD I LOVE BOSTON LEGAL! I sort of a little bit knew this before, just in a casual passing way, but after watching all five seasons in a bit over a month, it's like my love has been BORN ANEW!
  
  
• Also, OH GOD THE OLD STAR TREK SERIES! I got it and Boston Legal and I wasn't going to get the movies because I was like, "Probably that is enough William Shatnet," but clearly I forgot the most important rule - there is never enough William Shatner. Trufax. Anyways, then I watched that first episode with Khan in, where at the end Kirk randomly gives him a planet and Spock is like, "I really hope this doesn't come back to haunt us in some horrible yet totally forseeable way," and Kirk is all, "Don't be crazy, this is my best plan yet - I mean, when have eugenics ever hurt anybody?" and Spock is like, "Um..." and I was like OH MY GOD I MUST WATCH WRATH OF KHAN OR PROBABLY I WILL CATCH ON FIRE OR SOMETHING ELSE BAD!
  
  
• I am watching Bones. OH ZACK! I love you so much. I wish you would come back to us - Zombie Wendell and Vino Delectable are not as much fun as you. I just watched the one with the dead astronaut dude, and Zack is a teensy bit doubting about the existence of aliens, and Hodgins gets really snippy about it and is all, "You should know this, being half alien yourself," and Zack makes this really awesome bitchface that is awesome and bitchy. Also that bit where he gives some random facts to Evil Cam and she is all, "How did you know that?" and he replies "My knowledge is vast," without even the slightest hint of irony, OH ZACK HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME?!
  
  
• I have the last season of Avatar, yay! I haven't watched it yet, so shush, but I bet it is lovely. I wish I was a flying bison. I would totally bite people and trample their houses and then fly off laughing meanly.
  
  
• It is Thursday. The weekend is here! Release the hounds! And by "hounds" I mean "cakes"!
  
  
• Also I have Watchmen! I didn't watch it yet, but it has Daddy Winchester smoking a cigar! What could be finer?!

*Actually, it was more implied, but still, incest AND Beautiful Nick Stahl being beautiful and anguished? That's pretty beautiful.