...way out on the corner of fucked up and evil...

So tonight we were trying to decide what to watch on TV:

Prawn: Johnny doesn't get to pick because he made us watch that gay shit yesterday.
Johnny: What gay shi- wait, you mean Watchmen? Fuck off, that movie is amazing.
Hayley: It's retarded! It goes on for about a thousand years and nothing even happens.
Johnny: Fuck you both, it's ace. Ask Catherine, isn't it ace?
Froodle: It's so ace. It's acer than both of you put together.
Johnny: Yeah. Like, a gajillion times acer.
Froodle: Infinity times.
Prawn: It's just about some fucking blue gimp who goes around being blue and waving his dick everywhere.
Hayley: Plus there was a ginger pretending to be Batman.
Johnny: Fuck off, Rorschach's a legend.
Froodle: Yeah, and anyway, it's the other way around - Rorschach doesn't pretend to be Batman...
Johnny: Batman pretends to be Rorschach!
Froodle: Batman has a poster of Rorschach on his bedroom wall.
Johnny: He has a little picture of him next to his bathroom mirror and when he gets dressed in the morning, he's thinking about what Rorschach would do that day.
Froodle: He has a little What Would Rorschach Do bracelet to guide him in his fight against crime.
Prawn: Look at you two, gay for the ginger.
Johnny: You're just bitter because Rorschach overcomes his disability and does something with his life, but you just bask in your soulless gingerness all day long.
Prawn: I'm not even fucking ginger, I'm strawberry-blonde.
Froodle: That's another word for ginger.
Johnny: You should totally start wearing a hat and a mask that covers your whole face.
Froodle: And a scarf, don't forget. A magical scarf that apparently is proof against Antarctica snow. Then you could be cool like Rorschach.
Prawn: He wasn't cool, all he did was cry a bit and then get exploded. Exploding is for window-lickers.
Johnny: Sour ginger little Prawn.
Hayley: Bitter ginger-loving little Johnny.
Prawn: Why don't you dress up like him, if you love him so much?
Johnny: Because obviously I would be the Comedian.
Froodle: I would be the Comedian.
Johnny: No you wouldn't! Everyone knows I'm the funniest and the best-looking Heg. You don't even have black hair!
Hayley: In fact, your hair is kind of ginger...
Froodle: It's brown, okay? Brown.
Hayley: It's auburn.
Prawn: Another word for ginger!
Froodle: Fuck you all. I am the best Heg, the Comedian is the best Watchmen, clearly I would be the Comedian.
Hayley: Is this for Halloween or in general?
Froodle: Both!
Johnny: You're not being the Comedian! Do you even own a pair of trousers? You can be the skanky mum.
Froodle: Wait, Laurie's skanky mum or Rorschach's skanky mum?
Johnny: They're both ginger skanks, take your pick.
Froodle: I'm not being anyone's skanky mum!
Hayley: Who am I going to be?
Johnny: You're the dead lesbian.
Hayley: No!
Prawn: I'm not being the exploded ginger! Can I be the one that wins at the end? He's blonde like me.
Johnny: He also wears a tiara.
Prawn: It keeps his hair nice while he fights crime.
Froodle: You can't be Ozymandias, everybody knows that a ginger can't be the guy who win at the end.
Prawn: Strawberry blonde!
Hayley: Prawn can be the skanky mum, Fatnorange can be the ginger.
Froodle: Fatnorange doesn't explode at the end. He wins over everybody. He's going as Ozymandias.
Johnny: Fatnorange can be the blue cat.
Froodle: Stupid! His name is Fatnorange, not Fatnblue. He can't be the blue cat.
Hayley: Anyway, the blue cat dies.
Froodle: Taz can be the blue cat.
Johnny: Your cat is not exploding my cat.
Froodle: Dye him blue.
Johnny: He's black, you mong, it won't show on his fur.
Froodle: Bleach him, then dye him.
Johnny: Nobody is dyeing and bleaching and exploding my cat, okay?
Hayley: I don't want to be the dead lesbian.
Johnny: You can be the dead lesbian or the main girl. They're the only ones with black hair except for the Comedian, who is me.
Froodle: Who is me.
Johnny: Stop it, alright? You don't have leather pants, I do, so I'm the Comedian.
Froodle: If you're admitting to having leather pants, you should definately be Ozymandias.
Prawn: Hahah!
Hayley: Can't Taz be the dead lesbian? He's already black.
Froodle: No, he's the blue cat. The blue cat is Adrian's sidekick, Taz is Fatnorange's sidekick, and Fatnorange is going as Adrian.
Prawn: Why is the cat blue?
Froodle: It's made of science.
Hayley: How come only the guy who wins at the end gets to have an animal sidekick?
Johnny: Same reason they hardly have any girls on the team - the Comedian keeps raping them.
Froodle: That's why Ozymandias has to go and live in Antartica - to stop the Comedian from raping his pet.
Hayley: This is the guy you both want to dress as for Halloween?
Froodle: Don't judge, Hayley. Nobody likes a judgisaurus.
Johnny: Nite Owl would totally have had a pet if it wasn't for the Comedian.
Froodle: It would have been a duck. Nite Duck.
Johnny: It doesn't have a power, it's just a regular duck.
Froodle: With a mask on.
Prawn: Wait, is this true, or are you making things up?
Froodle: It's totally true.
Johnny: Nite Duck was totally in the comic.
Froodle: The Comedian got it pregnant and then shot it.
Johnny: Nite Owl went NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAARRRRGGHHHHHH for about two-thirds of a page. It was very sad.
Froodle: Totally sad.
Prawn: You're lying!
Johnny: You'll have to read the comic to find out.
Prawn: I'm not reading the comic, the film was shit enough.
Froodle: You're going as the blue guy.
Johnny: Yeah! Naked baldie-headed blue Prawn!
Prawn: No, the blue guy is the Faffing Hen.
Froodle: Ewwww, sick little Prawn! Nobody wants a naked Hen!
Prawn: No, think about it - he's the most annoying character, he talks for fucking ages but doesn't say anything, he screws everything up by faffing around while the guy with the cat destroys the world - he's totally the Hen.
Johnny: Oh my God, that is true!
Prawn: His power isn't anything to do with naked blue science or whatever - he just faffs around so annoyingly that eventually people explode from pure frustration.
Johnny: They cut the scene where he takes half an hour to tell Rorschach about an article in some paper that he didn't care about anyway and just left the shot where Rorschach blew himself up to avoid having to listen to him anymore.
Froodle: Adrian's machine blasts people with waves of pure faffing hennery and that's what kills them.
Johnny: What a sourchop!
Froodle: It's totally a good way to keep people in line, though - stop being fucking retards, or the Hen will come and talk at you for ten million years about nothing.
Johnny: Poor Rorschach. That's a terrible way to die - Henned to death.
Froodle: That's why the Comedian threw himself out of the window - he was like, "You'll never take me alive, Faffing Hen!" SMASHYFALLDEAD!
Hayley: Are we actually going to watch anything tonight?
Johnny: I already picked what we're watching. I put it on thirty-five minutes ago.
Froodle: HAH!
Hayley: I'm seriously going home if you two keep doing that.
Johnny: "Do that", Dead Lesbian Hayley? I'm not a comic book supervil-
Hayley: SERIOUSLY I AM GOING TO GO HOME.
Froodle: Sour little dead lesbian Fox.
Hayley: Fuck this, we're watching Scott Pilgrim.
Johnny: *whispers* If I was a character in Scott Pilgrim, I would be the dead sound gay roommate.
Froodle: *whispering* You would be the dancing Bollywood pirate who dies right at the start.
Scott Pilgrim DVD: *is turned up super-loud to drown us out*
Hayley: I said shut up!