froodle | (no subject) (Reply)

So, today I'm sat there watching Miracles (shut up, I am not obsessed with Skeet Ulrich, I have just... developed a slight appreciation for him that I didn't have before) and dudes. Dudes! The guy playing Alva Keel is that crazy government dude who tries to set up Batbale's character in Equilibrium - not the guy played by my least favourite smug fuckwit Taye Diggs, I mean the one who was Father's Voice but then actually it turned out he was the secret king all along! And then I was watching Scream (shut up!) and I got to thinking about who would win in a fight between Batbale and Skeet Ulrich, and okay, in a serial killin' contest, clearly Batbale, but if there really was an Apocalypse, Skeet would be all, fixin' tractors and putting out fires and saving the day using only SALT and JAMES REMAR, and Batbale would be all like, "Le fuck! The economy is destroyed and without my money I actually can't do anything!" and Skeet Ulrich would laugh and kick some radioactive Denver Dust in his face.

Also, Sheriff Constantino is such a beardy fucking retard. He's all like, oh no, George Hearst, you can't have Skeet Ulrich and your other loser son back, because I'm the Secret King of Kansas, and George Hearst is like, I think you should give me Skeet and Reject Son back, and Sheriff Constantino is like, I said no, and I'm like, FUCK YOU SHERIFF CONSTANTINO, IS GEORGE HEARST GONNA HAVE TO CHOP SOME FINGERS?! BECAUSE HE'S DONE IT TO BADDER BADASSES THAN YOU, MY BEARDY FRIEND! And then George Hearst is like, Tank! For you! In your face! and that's no more than he deserves.