...way out on the corner of fucked up and evil...

OH GOD I love that Peter Pan movie! I mean, I was already aware of this fact since it's shelved on the top lefthand side of my DVD collection, which is where I stack my most-loved stuff for easy acess, but I just watched it again and it's like ALL OF MY LIFE I HAVE BEEN WAITING TO GET ENOUGH DISTANCE ON THIS FILM SO THAT I CAN WATCH IT AGAIN AND HAVE ALL OF MY LOVE COME FLOODING BACK TO ME!

Jeremy Sumpter is so awesome, you guys. I sometimes totally forget about him because I am too busy admiring the wonderfulness of Jason Isaacs, but he is a fucking amazing actor. That bit right at the end where Hook lets the crocodile eat him, and as he resigns himself to his fate there's a shot of Peter closing his eyes and saluting with his sword, and it is magnificent and wonderful and just so great I have no words!

What happened to Jeremy Sumpter, anyway? I kind of assumed he would go on to be in like eight million things after Peter Pan, but I never saw him again. Has anyone else seen him in something other than Peter Pan? I demand to know why he is not currently improving the quality of the many TV shows I watch by appearing in them and actually portraying emotion and stuff. Shame on you, Jeremy Sumpter, you'd better not be fucking dead or appearing on reality TV or something else hideous and awful!

Also, I saw the trailer for the new Sherlock Holmes movie, and apart from inexplicable Rocky Horror!Downey Junior, it looked pretty good. I normally want to kill Jude Law, but RDJ has this weird super-power where he makes normally unbearable people slightly tolerable by his presence - see also Gweneth Paltrow in the Iron Man movies.

One more thing that I completely love that has nothing to do with the rest of this post - that bit in Twin Peaks where those Swedish dudes come to stay at the Great Northern and they make loads of noise and wake Cooper up, and he's super pissy and ranting into his little dictaphone thing to Diane about it and after he asks for her to send him earplugs, he's like "I didn't expect to need them on this trip, but as you can hear..." and he holds the recorder up in complete silence for a few seconds to record the noise and then he clicks it off in this really definitive, "so there!" kind of way, and all the way through the scene he has this AWESOMELY grumpy face on him and it's BRILLIANT.

I just wanted to share that with you all. I love Agent Cooper's grumpy face. One day I hope my grumpy face can reach such heights of grumpiness. It is unlikely, but still something to strive for.

Rarr! I am, as they say in Robot Opera, angry.

So today I went to pay in my maintenance grant, and also a few Manx notes that have been lurking in my pockets from the last time I was on the Rock of Smell. I get to the front of the line, and the fucking cashier has to do the usual "Oh, you're from the Isle of Man?" spiel I am forced to listen to every single time I go to pay Manx currency in.

No, fucktard. I just like collecting notes from the Rock That Time Forgot and carrying around with me, despite the fact that nobody on this stinking mainland will accept them. Also, my grant cheque says "paid by the Isle of Man government". What do you think?

This in itself would justify wishing some mildly unpleasent fate, such as anal violation by weasels, upon my tormenters, but alas, the ordeal had only just begun. Cashier Tard felt compelled to show this "novelty" money to Old Biddy Cashier, who proclaimed she had never seen such a thing either, and that she wasn't sure they could accept it (!!) and they had to call a supervisor, who of course felt compelled to add her "I've never been to the Isle of Man"-esque remarks to the conversation, along with the inevitable "Oh, isn't it quaint, they'll put Anything on money these days, won't they, teehee".

Listen, Spacktardius Natwestius. Treating me and my home country like we're some kind of fucking exhibit when all I want to do is make sure there's enough money in my account to cover my utility bills this month is Not Fucking On. Stupid remarks about cats with no tails (Oh, HAHA! So original!) and three legs are just going to make me wish the mill had collapsed on your dour, humourless Yorkshire ancestors, or that your tweed jackets with leather elbow patches come to life at night and strangle you.

Seriously, you gloomy Dale-dwelling bastards. Don't you have some Lancashiremen falling down holes you should be guffawing over?

I was going to say something mean about Gwyneth Paltrow and how her stupid, simpering voice ruined Seven for me here, but I used up all my anger and now I'm going to paddle my coracle and maybe build a giant waterwheel or ride a steam train. BECAUSE I'M MANX! HAHAHAHAHAAA I AM SO RUSTIC AND AMUSING!

Jess's birthday. Went to see Sky Captain, which was pretty good, although I did keep imagining Pip from Hellsing whenever Jude Law was on screen, which probably helped a lot.

The robot assassin with Darth Maulish qualities reminded me of Jheira from that episode of Angel where Angel does the Angeldance at the start and the end. Or "She", as it is sometimes known. Wonder if it was the same person.

Period cramps kicked in halfway through movie, so was forced to forgo trip to James's unbelievably stuck-up gym in fucking Bradford afterwards. Shame. Still, I thought "I have period cramp and I want to go home and lie on my bed with a hot water bottle and listen to Art Garfunkel" was much more diplomatic than "You're being so fucking annoying that if I don't leave right now, I'm likely to kick you in the nuts so hard, you'll be swallowing with three Adams apples." So props to me, and to John Connelly, who I totally stole that line from.

Also, general rule: don't ever give me advice on dealing with period pain. There's a very real possibility that I'll uncurl from my huddled ball of agony on the floor long enough to castrate you.