...way out on the corner of fucked up and evil...

Advent Children, oh my God! It's totally better on a second viewing, because the first time around you're all, hoping for AWESOME PLOTNESS but also harbouring the secret fears that it will be another Spirits Within, so it's like OMG TEH TENSION, but the second time around you can sit back, relax, and laugh yourself stupid at Kadaj's Oedipus complex. And also be relieved that the dubbed version omits the creepy leather noises. Why God, why?!

I was kind of suprised to hear Crispin Freeman playing Rude, as I automatically assumed he would be Sephiroth. I love Crispin Freeman, but he has this tendancy to make all his characters sound really, really pervy. Sometimes it works (Alucard, Rosiel, Touga-may-he-die-horribly-in-some-kind-of-accident-with-the-Akiocar) and sometimes it doesn't (Zelgadis). And on Rude, it just doesn't. Although I nearly pissed myself when he and Reno are talking about the bombs and Reno's like, "Flashy, huh?" and Rude goes, *pervy Crispin Freeman voice* "Yeah, you love it." I bet he does.

Of course, I completely forgive the casting directors because oh my God, Vincent Valentine is Shishio! This is awesome on a level beyond my comprehension, and completely makes up for the fact that Andrew Francis was somehow not cast as Kadaj. Because you know Kadaj is just movie!Dilandau five years down the line. Although I'm not sure I'm over casting Quinton Flynn rather than David Matranga as Reno. Way to pick the wrong Orphen, guys.

Plotwise, yeah whatever. "Oh my God, the Geostigma is being cured by the rain!" Yes, that's because it's dirt! Take a shower, you smelly bastards. Of course, if Yami and Deadwood have taught me anything - and they've taught me so much - it's that severed heads can make or break your affection for a character. In Kadaj's case? It totally makes it. And also Rufus's, because it's just hilarious to carry a dead alien head around in your wheelchair and not tell anybody about it.

So in conclusion, I guess there's really only one thing left to decide: does Sephiroth/Cloud qualify as incest or masturbation?

Holy shit, Tower of Fang actually has some members! Thanks to komikron for these wonderful icons:



Eventually I might get around to making a community banner or something... maybe.

I went to see Alexander with Anne Marie on Sunday night - it's actually the second time I've seen it. I totally blame Granamry and her hilarious 6-part MPREG parody, Daddy's Little Conqueror, for my almost swallowing my icecream spade during that opening line about Hephaestion's thighs.

Spoiler-laden Alexander-related thoughts... ( Read more... )

In other news, Jessica's latest money-making scheme involves a business that makes designer clothes/boots/carrying handbags for dogs. Yeah. Seriously. We were talking about what she should call it during lunch today:

Jess: What about "Doggy Desire"?
Alan: Animal porn.
Jess: "Doggy Style"?
Me: Gay porn. Better, but still misleading.
Jess: Yeah, I could have one of those "How Did You Hear About This Site?" things on the checkout.
Me: "Google", "Lycos", "From a friend", "seeking ass-sex".
People at tables around us: *stare*

And finally, more Stick Figure Erik: ( Read more... )

I'm still listening to the 2004 soundtrack. Keep telling myself, it's not that Gerrard Butler can't sing, it's that his Phantom has a lot more Raw Emotion. Eventually I may even believe it. Yay for self-delusion!

Man, James D'arcy's character in POW is a wuss. That episode where he and Larry escape and Larry gets shot and James starts crying like a bitch and Larry - who is lying there with a gunshot wound in his stomach - has to comfort him? What the fuck? Shut up, Jim.

I finally got around to watching all of Orphen: Revenge, and before anyone starts, yes, I know it wasn't as good as the first season and yes, I know it was very "baddie of the week"-esque and yes, I too felt the sad lack of Hartia's freckles and Lai in general. I still liked it, even though the second opening theme sounded like some kind of deranged Japanese Aaron Carter-type thing.

Hartia steals every scene he's in as "New Black Tiger". I nearly laughed myself to death when Majick dressed up in the costume and Hartia was all like, "Imposter!". Eris needs to shut the fuck up. No, seriously. Shut up, Eris. Nobody wants you to be Majick's love-interest.

High points include: Cleo spending all their money on junk and whoring Orphen and Majick out to some dirty old man - who actually grabs Orphen's ass, nearly causing me to have a coronary right there on the sofa; Majick having hand puppets of the whole group and re-enacting the Orphen/Licorice love scene for Cleo's benefit in Spike Spencer's campest voice ever; Orphen and Cleo persuading Majick to participate in a Beauty Queen contest and Majick crying because all the other girls are much prettier than he is and he doesn't think he'll win; and Orphen refusing to tell Licorice what happened in the previous season to make Flamesoul hate him so much, but saying he can recommend some DVDs she should rent.

Also, Majick provides further support for my "hats are the source of all evil" theory when he becomes "Sorcerous Stabber Majick" with the help of a possessed fluffy hat; David Matranga still won't do spells; and while part of me does want to feel sorry for Flamesoul, most of me just wants to give him a good kick and tell him to stop goddamn whining.

Speaking of people who need to stop goddamn whining, the quite-cool-but-nowhere-near-as-cool-as-me Hex has a few things to say about attention-seeking drama queens on LJ. Namely, when you promise not to post more poetry, keep the promise or don't bother making it.

In the name of Snufkin, writers of crappy poetry shall be banished into eternal fucktardhood. Amen.

Aha, sneaked in one minute before midnight. Do I rule or what?

Finally got around to watching Samurai Deeper Kyo dvds I've had since January - was initially put off because Kyoshiro reminded me a bit too much of Carrot from Sorcerer Hunters. Luckily for me, Demon Eyes Kyo takes over his body fairly quickly and runs around being badass for much of the series.

(Note: Froodle has only seen up to episode 18; anyone who tells her what happens in the last two volumes will be hunted down like a rabid dog)

Generally, would be much improved by getting rid of the Kenyo/Kanyo/big stupid monsters with big stupid monster voices and just having Kyo fight regular human baddies. Well, not regular exactly, but not big stupid monsters. Almost had a heart attack at one point in the series:

Random big stupid monster: Grr! Little gay general bloke! You are very powerful! Are you a Kanyo?
Me: Nooooooooooooooooo!
Little gay general bloke: No, I am too cool and pretty.
Me: Phew.

That bloke with one red and one blue eye (Miguel? Migelia?) sounds like Antonio Banderas. When he introduced himself, part of me was expecting "I am PUSS! ... in boots."

Akira is a pervy Kyo fanboy. He's well going to molest Kyo's body if Kyo doesn't get it back. Was pissing myself during that bit where he finds Kyo's body in the ice and is all, "My Lord Kyo... *rubrubgrind*" and Yuya is like, *disturbed face*.

Kyo looks like Garv from Slayers Try. Seriously. I think it's the hair.

Speaking of which, have just realised that the woman who does Yuya's voice is the same woman who played Amelia in Slayers and Ash in Pokemon. I knew there was a reason she pissed me off.

Kyo/Kyoshiro is played by the guy who was Mikage - aka the older of the two little gay dead boys in the basement - in Utena. That makes me laugh.

Kyo!Kyoshiro looks like OVA Kenshin, only not as ugly.

DVDs as a whole could do with some liner notes. I likes me liner notes. They make me feel all knowledgable. There are some funny moments in the outtakes, mixed in with the usual line-flubbing. personal favourites:

Sasuke: I recognise those nuts!

Yuya: Is what that woman says true? Did you really kill her sister?
Kyo: Whiny bitch has gotta blame someone. Oops, that's not what he says...

Still, nothing comes close to the outtakes on the first Orphen dvds:

David Matranga (as Orphen): Oh, shut up, Hilary. You're just jealous because I'm the fucking lead in this show and you're a sexually ambiguous troll!
Spike Spencer (as Majik): Don't get too full of yourself, Matranga. Remember, I was Shinji, the lead in Evangelion.
DM: Just like you Spike, living in the past.

Matranga-as-Orphen: *hysterical wailing and sobbing during what is supposed to be a "single manly tear" scene*
Spike-as-Majik: Good god, get a grip David. You're such a ham.
Matranga-as-Orphen: *more wailing*
Spike-as-Majik: Just because the show is named after you doesn't mean it's a soliloquy. Shelley and I get just as much fanmail as you!
Shelley Calene-Black-as-Cleo: Mmm-hmm.

Random bloke: And only one person came to Cape Day and they... spontaneously combusted! *cries*
Orphen: I wish I had been invited to Cape Day.

Majik: Mathter, Mathter, don't, no don't you do it, that man saved us, me and Cleo both, we think he'th a thweetie!

Leki (little blue magical puppy thing that follows Cleo around): I hate this fucking kid. Get in the fucking pot! *jumps on kid's head* Grr!

Leki: I'm going to eat you.

Leki: White trash bitch.

Stephanie *in deep man's voice*: Easy there, David. I'm just... not that kind of girl.
Matranga: You know, Karen does a much better job in this role.

Spike-as-Majik: I can't do this any more! The fans say you change the script too much! You're evil! *runs away crying*
Cleo: He's right!
Spooky wizard bloke: I know the script is different from the original, but Orphen was being groomed for TV! There's no lesbian subtext in Sailor Moon anymore, no blood or booze in Outlaw Star... listen, I'll make it up to you. From now on every disc will have five episodes instead of three, and they'll all stick closer to the original script! Rarr!
Matranga-as-Orphen: Okay, so we're going to stick closer to the translation. Just don't make me say those stupid spells, alright? The only one who can pull that off is Helen Mirran in Excaliber.
Stephanie-in-spooky-wizard-bloke's-voice: I know, David, but they do sound good in Japanese.
Matranga-as-Orphen: They can watch the subtitled version. That's what it's there for.

(I guess he got over his spell-hatred, since he manages Sanzo's incantations in Saiyuki)

Also: Sasuke is Hakkai. Regular Hakkai, not Surfer Hakkai, but it's still too much Hakkai for my liking.

On the subject of Hakkai, how much is Akabane/Dr Jackal from Get Backers the bastard offspring of him and Alucard from Hellsing? You know it's true.

Need to get me those last 2 volumes of SDK. Sigh... so much anime, so little cash.

Man, I'm a dork.