...way out on the corner of fucked up and evil...

Has anyone else seen the trailer for that Sky Atlantic movie, Neverland? I'm sort of intrigued. Probably it won't be as awesome as the 2003 version with Jason Isaacs, but it might be as good as something that doesn't have Jason Isaacs in can hope to be.

Apparently there's another Peter Pan reimagining next year where Peter is a killin' dude and Hook is trying to catch him. That sounds pretty retarded, but it has the kid from Sleepwalking in it, so who knows?

Also, I saw Pirates of the Caribbean 4 today. It was okay - I didn't come out of it feeling like I'd just wasted two hours of my life, but for a movie that has Johnny Depp and Ian McShane, it wasn't anything like as awesome as I thought it should be. Also, the missionary and the mermaid were so pointless and uninteresting, it actually made me miss Keira Knightley and the gay blacksmith. Unworthy.

Anyways, I think I'm going to go for a swim and get some seaweed to hide in my brothers shoes, so laters!

Went to see 'King Arthur' with Alan and Jess. Suprising lack of total badness. Which isn't to say it was good, but at least I didn't leave the cinema feeling as though someone had stolen two hours of my life that I desperately wanted back.

What the hell happened to Clive Owen? I don't remember this level of shoddy acting in 'Croupier'. His Arthur was terrible. Really terrible. I've seen better quality acting in... well, I was going to say 'A Nickalodean teen show', but that would be a little too harsh. Still, he's pretty bad.

Highlights include Keira Knightly's wonderful line when Arthur and his Merry Men are facing Evil Saxzon Bloke's Son and his army of DOOM:

Lancelot: You look worried. There are two hundred lonely men out there.
Guinevere: Don't worry, I won't let them rape you.

Clearly she's familiar with Hornblower's effeminate hairstyle (which has exactly the same in this movie), girlish smile and seeming inability to sit down. Ever. I suppose I shoudl be grateful that he wasn't wearing mittens.

However, he was accompanied by the guy who played Stiles in Hornblower, which amused me more than it probably should. Kept thinking about rats.

For once, Keira Knightly didn't annoy me, though that might well be because I spent most of the film trying to distinguish one barely-characterized Knight from another. Level of characterization was literally:

Bors: has many children
Other bald guy: is obedient
Tristen: has bird, kills things
Galahad: is moralistic
Gawain: looks like Will from a Knight's Tale before shaving

Also, Evil Saxon Bloke's Son is a complete dumbfuck. "Yeah, I'll just lead my army of 200 men onto this sheet of ice. It won't break, no siree." Idiot.

Have just realised that the evil Roman bloke was Chance in Plunkett and Mcleane. That was bugging me all the way through the film.

Saw trailers for Layer Cake, which i want to go and see despite disgusting use of 13375p3ak in the title; Riddick, which causes my brain to melt by having Vin Diesel and Judy Dench in the same film; and some film about two divers who get left behind by their boat, which looks to be the cheapest film ever made, since it's basically two people in diving gear floating about in the water and crying a lot. Also claims to be "based on a true story", which probably means that somewhere, two people went diving and nothing bad happened to them at all.