...way out on the corner of fucked up and evil...

I'm never going on rabbit.org again. Last night, Anne-Marie and I were eating my (delicious) curry and discussing the amazingness of Colin Farrell when, halfway through a sentance I look over at Thlayli to find him lying on his side, motionless, and for a brief moment convince myself he's gone into stasis and is dying. I rush to his side, panic filling me like some off-colour joke involving ass-sex... and he wakes up, gives me the filthiest look in the history of human-rabbit interaction, and hops into his wooden lodge to continue dreaming his bunny dreams. This leads me to the conclusion that I would make a terrible mother. Not because I'm lazy, selfish, short-tempered and prone to unpredictable mood swings, although all of those are true. Not even because I hate children and think their proper role is the main course in a Sunday roast (mmm-mm, crispy). But because I would be one of those awful parents who talks about their goddamn cuntprize nonstop and thinks it has lukemia every time it sneezes.

In other news, Monday was a day of Strange Coincidences for Froodles. See, back when I was but a young Froodlet, fresh out of highschool and attending my Very First Anime Convention Ever, I met a yaoifiend by the name of Genevieve. Many years passed, I came to university and Southampton seemed an indecently long way to travel just to watch Card Captor Sakura subs. We lost touch.

Fastforward to modern-day. The Froodle sits in Borders, reading The Charioteer (excellent book, recommend to all Mary Renault fans and... pretty much everyone ever, actually) and waiting for a friend to show up. Said friend being something of an idiot, fails to realise the clocks have gone forward and shows up an hour late. We drink coffee, I mock him, he criticises Wolf's Rain, I use the phrase "Bondage Wolf" in public, the usual. Time marches on, and soon we go our seperate ways. I'm walking home, debating whether to grab a sandwich to eat later or simply order takeout, when I see a strangely familar figure coming towards me.

Yeah, it's Genevieve. Turns out her job relocated up here about a month ago. We went for coffee and then she cooked me dinner and we watched Get Backers and I designed a silly character on City of Heroes (she wouldn't let me call him Sneaky McGrue, though apparently Hooded Laser is acceptable). How weird and cool is that?

Now, I think I'm going to go and watch Firefly and try and figure out how Simon manages to be so adorable while at the same time being the lovechild of Lindsey and Early!Wesley. Initial suspicions point to his waistcoats emitting some kind of "ravish me please" vibe. To quote Kaylee, "You just wanna take a bite of him all over."

Very disturbing conversation with Johnathan last night. Talking about the movie version of John Connolly's "Bad Men":

F: So, who do you think they'll cast as the giant policeman?
J: Tom Hanks.
F: Why?!
J: Because people always cast Tom Hanks in movies I want to see, just to spite me.
F: Fucking Holywood.
J: At least it's not a Charlie Parker movie. They'd probably cast Tom Hanks as Bird.
F: Eww! Never say that again.
J: And Mr T as Louis.
F: I'll cut you!
J: Heh.
F: Idris Elba* would be good as Louis. Providing he could to the accent.
J: They could get Christian Kane to do the voice-over.
F: He's from Louisiana, not fucking Texas!
J: True. Plus we need Christian Kane to play Angel.
F: *disgusted noise*
J: What? He's short, white, has curly hair and pouty lips. He's perfect.
F: Angel doesn't have pouty lips.
J: I always imagined him with pouty lips.
F: You ruin my life.
J: I know.
F: Can you imagine how weird it would be to have Lindsey playing a character called Angel? It breaks my mind.
J: We could get David Boreanaz to play Louis. With facepaint.
F: I hate you so bad.
J: *evil laugh*

My brother is a sick, sick puppy.

*Idris Elba = Vaughan Rice in "Ultraviolet".

Many random pieces of information today:

1) The bloke that played Gavin (annoying lawyer type who had the audacity to try and replace Lindsey and got turned into a zombie for his trouble) in Angel was in Spiderman 2. Only for like, a second, but it made me say "Hey, that's Gavin!" And nobody else knew who he was and it was like Penn being in SWAT all over again and I felt sad.

2) Speaking of ickle Lindsey, check out the latest KANE newsletter:

From: [email protected]

KANE are back playing another show at 1650 CLUB in Hollywood!
This time we're reteaming with Shooter Jennings. Hide the Jack Daniels and lock in your daughters. It's gonna be a wild one...

Thursday, August 19th, 2004
9:00pm Pen 15 Club
10:00pm KANE
11:00pm SHOOTER JENNINGS BAND
all at: 1650 Club (formerly Vinyl)
1650 N. Schrader @ Hollywood Blvd
Hollywood, CA.
$10.00
age 21+ only please (sorry)

also... we are considering taking the band to the UK for a few shows the first week of November. Please drop us a line if you would be interested in seeing us there. Nothing fancy... just let us know you would come out.

What are you waiting for? Fucking email them!

3) Totally unrelated, and probably quite old news to most people who would actually care, but it seems Blaise Zabini, the "missing Slytherin", has an official gender.

The following things are true:

Vests were not invented in 1812.

Lindsey has an Angelus-like evil alter-ego. Fortunatly, he only comes out to play if Angel ever returns Lindsey's feelings, which we all know is less likely than James Marsters appearing on television ever again.

Billy Boyd is at least 80 years old.

Angel is not fat.

At least one of my brothers is evil.

David Boreanaz is a strange, strange man.

The comparisons between Saiyuki and Angel the Series are spurious at best.

Sanzo and Angelus have nothing in common. Angelus (as far as I know) doesn't wear bondage gear under priest's robes. Also, Sanzo is a lot grumpier, doesn't speak in an evil Irish brogue and the chances of him having a nun fetish are fairly low.

I am, however, willing to buy the Kougaji/Lindsey and Gojyo/Spike connection. Though Kougaji is too tall to make a good Lindsey.

Lindsey is the Tom Pullings of the Angelverse.

FAKE 7 has an adult rating for a very good reason. It should also probably not be read in one's local Starbucks, due to the risk of shock-induced choking.

Angel's power resides not in his puppy-dog eyes, pointy hair or socially retardedness, but in his white vest.

Everybody loves young boys in kitty ears.

Stephen Maturin is the Hemulen from the Moomins.

Snufkin is all.

I hate moths.

Tonight in Angel: Angel is evil, except that he totally isn't. Not!Fred tries to convince Spike that Angel is cheating on him, but Spike's not having any of it. He's so loyal. Lindsey wants to hug someone. Anyone. His hair is still bad, so everyone refuses.

Speaking of bad hair, Gunn calls Drogan 'Aragorn'. I find that uncalled for, since Drogan seems pretty well up on personal hygiene to me. Still, it seems Drogan takes Gunn's words cruelly to heart, because next time we see him. he's shaved his head.

Also, Nina turns up and bores me to death. Sod off, Nina.

Wesley may or may not have been in this episode. Due to the pain of listening to him whine, I have now established a mental block on his existance during seasons four and five.

Aw damnit, I'm such a snivelling bitch.

Have just finished watching the last episode of Angel - much like pulling off a sticking plaster, I decided it would be less painful if I got it all over at once. Wrong.

Angel signing away the Shanshu broke my heart. I didn't stop crying from that point on. Though I note, his signature looked totally different from the one on the memory-wipe contract - here it was practically illegible. Maybe he signed it 'Spike'. That would be funny.

I appreciated the slashiness between Lindsay and Angel:
"I want you, Lindsay." *pause* "I'm thinking about rephrasing that."
"Yeah, I think I'd be more comfortable if you did."

Not to mention: "If the next words out of your mouth are 'Kill Spike', we just might to have to kiss."

Also: "Your manservant has become entangled in my bodily fluids again!". Bwahaha.

Connor was actually likable (and whilst I was already crying, I cried harder when he came to help his dad out. I'm such a sap). Spike's poetry got applause. BlueFred thought Gunn was too pretty to die. Harmony's still evil. And Lorne...

Oh dear God, Lorne.

There are no words.

So, in conclusion: Goodbye, Doyle. Adios, Cordy. So long, Evil Hand. Later days, Hyperion. See you around, seabreezes. Nice knowing you, subtext.

And FUCK YOU, Warner Brothers.