froodle | Entries tagged with poor ickle lindsey

Obviously I am really sad that Nate's dad is dead, and also I totally have feels about Eliot in that episode, but let's put that aside for a moment and revel in the greatness that is Wil Wheaton as evil!Hardison. "I dream you've died and I wake up laughing" is now officially part of my insult-vocabulary, as is that line about Archie being old enough to have punched Hitler in the face. And he gets Tased! And he forces Hardison to say his hacker name as a condition for helping out! And he does impressions of fake!Eliot and is generally amazing. All shows should have evil Wil Wheaton guest-star once a season.

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I've changed my desktop background at work to a picture of Lindsey holding a guitar. It's making me about ten thousand times happier than I would normally be while working, but it's also massively distracting.

Запись сделана с помощью m.livejournal.com.

I had totally forgotten that Wil Wheaton was in Leverage, much less that he played basically the evil version of Hardison.

I just watched the Christmas episode where Lindsey has to fight all the evil Santas and that scene at the end when Wil Wheaton gets dragged away and Hardison tells him he lost because he doesn't know the true meaning of Christmas, and Wil Wheaton is like "Shut up! That barely applies here!" made me laugh so hard I thought I was going to throw up. And doing the impression of Lindsey over the comms! And the mall owner guy getting totally stoned on pain medication and then driving a bus full of orphans to the shopping centre! It isn't quite on par with the Invader Zim or Supernatural Christmas episodes, but it was still fucking hilarious.

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So in this episode, this mean dude totally upsets Parker (the girl in Lindsey's threesome) and the rest of the team are like, "it's okay, we will totally ruin his life for you" and Parker's like, "can we cut off his arms?" and Lindsey's like, "yeah, I can do that" and it's great that he's sticking up for his girlfriend who is really mostly Hardison's girlfriend because Hardison/Parker OMGLOVELY but anyway, I just think Lindsey of all people would be a bit more hesitant to go around hacking dudes' limbs off because not everybody gets an evil hand in the end.

But anyway that dude was Luke Perry so fuck him.

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Im watching that episode of Leverage that is all about mixed martial arts and this evil dude is making Lindsey fight this other dude but then he drugged Lindsey and all the Leverage dudes are like, "oh no now Lindsey's totally gonna hulk out and kill this other dude!" an being all sad and worried and I'm like, "SERIOUSLY ARE WE EVEN LOOKING AT THE SAME GUY RIGHT NOW?!" He'd have to hulk out like tohe power of three hulks just to be average height. No, Leverage. Just no.

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Watching the third season of Leverage. Is it just me or is Lindsey's hair actually feathered at this point? Also, the goatee and excessive use of blusher is making my eyes sad. Highlight so far has been watching him pretending to be a miner/mine safety dude and going into a mine without tying it back. NO, LINDSEY. NO.

Leverage Christmas episode - less epic than the Supernatural or Invader Zim ones, but on par with the two that Bones did before the show started to suck. Also, bonus points for having Lindsey in a Santa costume beating up other, evil Santas.

Writing covering letters for your CV is hard and boring. Let's talk about the Shield instead!

So, this is where I am up to:

the Sour Dude, who was supposed to be the main boss except everyone voted for the Bald Man because they love him best, send an Evil Blond Spy to take down the Bald Man.
Luckily Zito from Miami Vice warned the Bald Man that the Evil Blond Spy was a robot, so the Bald Man shot him.
The Bald Man's boyfriend (who is Boyd Crowder, check it out, I learnt another name!) is really upset that the Bald Man killed a guy, I guess because he doesn't know that the Evil Blond Spy was a robot or something. So Boyd is all sad and stuff, and the Bald Man is just like, "Get over it."
Poor Boyd Crowder can't even talk to anyone else about his Evil Blond Spy-killing angst, because the other two guys in Bald Man's Crime Army (I will call them "Tall" and "Quiet") don't know about it.
Sour Dude pretty much knows that the Bald Man took out the Evil Blond Spy, but he can't prove anything, so he just goes around being dead sour at the Bald Man, who is like, "Whatever."
Zito is also pretty mad at the Bald Man for shooting the robot, but he can't do anything because he's the Bald Man's slave or something.
The Girl One's partner is gay, but he doesn't want to be so he is doing that crazy Gayness Cure thing they have in America. The Girl One is like, "That's crazy and it doesn't work, haven't you seen that episode of South Park?" but I guess Gayness Cure doesn't watch South Park because he isn't listening.
In the meantime, CCH Pounder's friend is in love with the Girl One (she's the only girl in the show except for CCH Pounder, and so far she hasn't done anything to distinguish herself other than be a girl, so her name is the Girl One for now) but the Girl One is already having a secret affair with the Bald Man, so she's like, "Go away."
So CCH Pounder's friend is trying to be the Bald Man's main enemy, but he's pretty rubbish at everything except being a detective, so the Bald Man mostly just thinks he's weird and vaguely annoying. CCH Pounder is basically like, "Stop trying to be enemies with the Bald Man, you'll just end up being the Lindsey and then you'll be killed by a karoke-singing green demon and everyone will laugh at you" but her friend isn't listening so she put poo in his desk. I think if someone had cared enough to put poo in Lindsey's desk way back in season one, it would have spared him a lot of heartache later.

I think that's everything so far. I went to a show last night, but it sucked. I would rather have stayed at home and watched the adventures of the Bald Man. Probably that is what I will do tonight.

Writing covering letters for your CV is hard and boring. Let's talk about the Shield instead!

So, this is where I am up to:

the Sour Dude, who was supposed to be the main boss except everyone voted for the Bald Man because they love him best, send an Evil Blond Spy to take down the Bald Man.
Luckily Zito from Miami Vice warned the Bald Man that the Evil Blond Spy was a robot, so the Bald Man shot him.
The Bald Man's boyfriend (who is Boyd Crowder, check it out, I learnt another name!) is really upset that the Bald Man killed a guy, I guess because he doesn't know that the Evil Blond Spy was a robot or something. So Boyd is all sad and stuff, and the Bald Man is just like, "Get over it."
Poor Boyd Crowder can't even talk to anyone else about his Evil Blond Spy-killing angst, because the other two guys in Bald Man's Crime Army (I will call them "Tall" and "Quiet") don't know about it.
Sour Dude pretty much knows that the Bald Man took out the Evil Blond Spy, but he can't prove anything, so he just goes around being dead sour at the Bald Man, who is like, "Whatever."
Zito is also pretty mad at the Bald Man for shooting the robot, but he can't do anything because he's the Bald Man's slave or something.
The Girl One's partner is gay, but he doesn't want to be so he is doing that crazy Gayness Cure thing they have in America. The Girl One is like, "That's crazy and it doesn't work, haven't you seen that episode of South Park?" but I guess Gayness Cure doesn't watch South Park because he isn't listening.
In the meantime, CCH Pounder's friend is in love with the Girl One (she's the only girl in the show except for CCH Pounder, and so far she hasn't done anything to distinguish herself other than be a girl, so her name is the Girl One for now) but the Girl One is already having a secret affair with the Bald Man, so she's like, "Go away."
So CCH Pounder's friend is trying to be the Bald Man's main enemy, but he's pretty rubbish at everything except being a detective, so the Bald Man mostly just thinks he's weird and vaguely annoying. CCH Pounder is basically like, "Stop trying to be enemies with the Bald Man, you'll just end up being the Lindsey and then you'll be killed by a karoke-singing green demon and everyone will laugh at you" but her friend isn't listening so she put poo in his desk. I think if someone had cared enough to put poo in Lindsey's desk way back in season one, it would have spared him a lot of heartache later.

I think that's everything so far. I went to a show last night, but it sucked. I would rather have stayed at home and watched the adventures of the Bald Man. Probably that is what I will do tonight.

My Year In Fandom:

Your main fandom of the year?
Corey Feldman. Yes, he is a fandom all by himself. Yes he is! Shut the fuck up!

Your favourite film watched this year?
This is hard, there were actually a few really awesome films I discovered this year - Iron Man 2, The Losers, Lost Boys: the Thirst and Monster Squad are all things I saw for the first time in 2010, and they are MARVELLOUS. I'm going to go for the Monster Squad though, because none of the other movies had characters screaming "Kick him in the nards! Kick him in the nards!" at each other.

Your favourite book read this year?
Somebody introduced me to a comic book series called The Boys, which is pretty much Watchmen for people who didn't think Watchmen was sick and wrong enough. It is fucking hilarous.

Your favourite album or song to listen to this year?
Every year I buy a couple of those Halloween-themed albums. For 2010, I got a triple CD set that includes the theme from True Blood, Bad Moon Rising, Shewolf by Shakira and Duran Duran's Hungry Like The Wolf. Pure awesome, you guys.

Your favourite TV show of the year?
Glee. I haven't been online enough in 2010 for my flist to witness me getting appropriately squeeful about it, but OH GOD, it is wonderful!

Your favourite LJ community of the year?
The community itself is pretty much dead, but Lost Boys Slash did lead me to the LJ of redeyedfeline, and in turn to some EPIC Frogcest.

Your best new fandom discovery of the year?
White Collar. Seriously guys, even gayer than LJ made it out to be. Plus Jonesy from Carnivale being stern and manly with the younger, prettier clone of Simon from Firefly.

Your biggest fandom disappointment of the year?
The fifth season of Bones. I can't really point to one particular thing that made it sucktarded, but the whole season just left me kind of, "Meh."

Your TV boyfriend of the year?
Tesla from Sanctuary. OH HE IS SO MARVELOUSLY SNITTY I WANT TO LICK HIS FACE!

Your TV girlfriend of the year?
Shego from Kim Possible. Yes, I know she wasn't on the air in 2010, but this is when I got the season 1 and 2 DVDs and also when her greatness helped me recover from a traumatic incident involving a naked Corey Haim, so she still counts.

Your biggest squee moment of the year?
Edgar and Alan's hug at the end of The Thirst. OH GOD THEY ARE SO CUTE!

The most missed of your old fandoms?
The 4400. Seeing Joel Gresch be manly yet earnest in V really underscored how much I missed seeing him be manly yet earnest in a show where everyone else wasn't a total fucking retard and the bits that weren't occupied by Joel Gresch being manly yet earnest were focused on Jordan and Shawn having EPIC GAY LOVE. OH JOEL GRESCH. OH JORDAN. OH SHAWN.

The fandom you haven't tried yet, but want to?
Leverage. I've only just seen season one, but already I suspect there is quite a lot of fic surrounding Lindsey's crush on Hardison. Hopefully this time his affections will involve less plastic hands and people being mowed down in the pickup truck of unrequited love.

Your biggest fan anticipations for the New Year?
I am quite looking forward to seeing Colin Farrel and Jailbait!Chekov face off against each other in the Fright Night remake. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter and Pride and Prejudice and Zombies are bound to be completely wonderful. Also, there had better be a Lost Boys 4 and possibly a spin-off TV series too.

My Year In Fandom:

Your main fandom of the year?
Corey Feldman. Yes, he is a fandom all by himself. Yes he is! Shut the fuck up!

Your favourite film watched this year?
This is hard, there were actually a few really awesome films I discovered this year - Iron Man 2, The Losers, Lost Boys: the Tribe and Monster Squad are all things I saw for the first time in 2010, and they are MARVELLOUS. I'm going to go for the Monster Squad though, because none of the other movies had characters screaming "Kick him in the nards! Kick him in the nards!" at each other.

Your favourite book read this year?
Somebody introduced me to a comic book series called The Boys, which is pretty much Watchmen for people who didn't think Watchmen was sick and wrong enough. It is fucking hilarous.

Your favourite album or song to listen to this year?
Every year I buy a couple of those Halloween-themed albums. For 2010, I got a triple CD set that includes the theme from True Blood, Bad Moon Rising, Shewolf by Shakira and Duran Duran's Hungry Like The Wolf. Pure awesome, you guys.

Your favourite TV show of the year?
Glee. I haven't been online enough in 2010 for my flist to witness me getting appropriately squeeful about it, but OH GOD, it is wonderful!

Your favourite LJ community of the year?
The community itself is pretty much dead, but Lost Boys Slash did lead me to the LJ of redeyedfeline, and in turn to some EPIC Frogcest.

Your best new fandom discovery of the year?
White Collar. Seriously guys, even gayer than LJ made it out to be. Plus Jonesy from Carnivale being stern and manly with the younger, prettier clone of Simon from Firefly.

Your biggest fandom disappointment of the year?
The fifth season of Bones. I can't really point to one particular thing that made it sucktarded, but the whole season just left me kind of, "Meh."

Your TV boyfriend of the year?
Tesla from Sanctuary. OH HE IS SO MARVELOUSLY SNITTY I WANT TO LICK HIS FACE!

Your TV girlfriend of the year?
Shego from Kim Possible. Yes, I know she wasn't on the air in 2010, but this is when I got the season 1 and 2 DVDs and also when her greatness helped me recover from a traumatic incident involving a naked Corey Haim, so she still counts.

Your biggest squee moment of the year?
Edgar and Alan's hug at the end of The Thirst. OH GOD THEY ARE SO CUTE!

The most missed of your old fandoms?
The 4400. Seeing Joel Gresch be manly yet earnest in V really underscored how much I missed seeing him be manly yet earnest in a show where everyone else wasn't a total fucking retard and the bits that weren't occupied by Joel Gresch being manly yet earnest were focused on Jordan and Shawn having EPIC GAY LOVE. OH JOEL GRESCH. OH JORDAN. OH SHAWN.

The fandom you haven't tried yet, but want to?
Leverage. I've only just seen season one, but already I suspect there is quite a lot of fic surrounding Lindsey's crush on Hardison. Hopefully this time his affections will involve less plastic hands and people being mowed down in the pickup truck of unrequited love.

Your biggest fan anticipations for the New Year?
I am quite looking forward to seeing Colin Farrel and Jailbait!Chekov face off against each other in the Fright Night remake. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter and Pride and Prejudice and Zombies are bound to be completely wonderful. Also, there had better be a Lost Boys 4 and possibly a spin-off TV series too.

Okay, I am home for Christmas, so I have beautiful unlimited access, at last for the next six days.

The following things are super-important:

Frogcest. There should be more of it. If you are doing something other than writing Alan/Edgar porn right now, you are making me sad. Seriously dudes, you're like full-on ruining my holiday spirit.
Leverage. Lindsey McDonald doing a bizarre impersonation of Daddy Winchester should be massively cringe-inducing, but somehow it is endearing in a sick-and-wrong kind of way.
White Collar. If anything, this show is actually GAYER than the internet made it out to be. I love White Collar forever and ever.
Santuary. This is mostly average, except for Tessla, who is FABULOUS. He is like, 2.83 times more awesome than Damon fromt he Vampire Diaries, which is quite awesome.
Monster Squad. OH MY GOD YOU GUYS WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME ABOUT THIS MOVIE?! I am so in love with this film it is crazed. Also, Andre Gower is exactly what would happen if Keifer Sutherland and River Phoenix had a baby. Trufax.

Anyway, my brother is yelling for me to come down to dinner, so I am going now. WRITE MOAR FROGCEST! I will be back... whenever.

Okay, I am home for Christmas, so I have beautiful unlimited access, at last for the next six days.

The following things are super-important:

Frogcest. There should be more of it. If you are doing something other than writing Alan/Edgar porn right now, you are making me sad. Seriously dudes, you're like full-on ruining my holiday spirit.
Leverage. Lindsey McDonald doing a bizarre impersonation of Daddy Winchester should be massively cringe-inducing, but somehow it is endearing in a sick-and-wrong kind of way.
White Collar. If anything, this show is actually GAYER than the internet made it out to be. I love White Collar forever and ever.
Santuary. This is mostly average, except for Tessla, who is FABULOUS. He is like, 2.83 times more awesome than Damon fromt he Vampire Diaries, which is quite awesome.
Monster Squad. OH MY GOD YOU GUYS WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME ABOUT THIS MOVIE?! I am so in love with this film it is crazed. Also, Andre Gower is exactly what would happen if Keifer Sutherland and River Phoenix had a baby. Trufax.

Anyway, my brother is yelling for me to come down to dinner, so I am going now. WRITE MOAR FROGCEST! I will be back... whenever.

Dudes! Okay so, I generally try and pretend the last four seasons of Buffy never happened, mostly because thinking about them sparks off a twnety minute string of profanities about the shitness of Dawn/Riley/Kennedy and the downfall of Buffy and I really try not to mention what Xander devolved into because it breaks my heart a bit and of course you have Spike's eighty-odd-episodes-long character rape and I'm going to stop now because otherwise this post will be another swearathon, but anyway! So I always thought that Andrew was a bit shit, although in fairness by the time it ended he was the only one I wasn't actively hoping would die, but only because he was just lame instead of rage-inducingly dislikable. But anyway, I was watching that episode of Angel with the mental Slayer who cuts off Spike's hands, and I realised, it's Amita from Numb3rs. And now I'm thinking, Andrew can't have been as much of a 'tard as I thought he was, because apparently his training program not only makes you not be crazy, it turns you into a kind of Maths Superhero.

And now I think Amita Ramanujan: Vampire Slayer should be a show. Or maybe she can be a character in my Zombie Dickens fest - like when Zombie Twist is all, "Please sir, can I have some more... BRAINS ARRRGHRAHGARGHCHOMPYFACE!" Amita can dramatically ninja in through the window and dismember him.

I'm not sure how I feel about Amita/The Dave, though. Probably he would have another love interest ~~that was Lindsey~~ no I didn't just write that.

Also, where is all my Jayne/Simon porn? I thought I bookmarked it under memories but it's gone away. Boo!

Okay dudes. So now that Bones has descended into a world of suckiness and hurt, I think it's time there was another vehicle for David Boreanaz to showcase his particular brand of being a champion of good through the medium of brutal violence. So we need to come up with a format that will include all of the following:

The Dave digs.
The Dave wears a hat.
The Dave rescues puppies.
The Dave hugs distraught children.
The Dave wears a white vest.
The Dave broods.
The Dave does the Angel Dance.
The Angel Dance must now also include a part where he plays air instruments.
The Dave uses his Charm Smile on someone.
The Dave punches people.
The Dave pistol whips people (this bit is super-important - these days, if someone isn't getting pistol-whipped, I don't feel I've been entertained).
The Dave smashes down doors.
The Dave is involved in a brutal, knock-down drag-out fist fight that lasts no less than ten on-screeen minutes.
The Dave sulks.
The Dave makes his "please don't seduce me" face.
The Dave is cranky.
The Dave is inappropriately giddy.

Now, I realise, looking at this, that I could get all of this by watching Angel or Bones, and that's fine, except for the parts that involves Sweets or Cam or Fred or Connor or snoretastic plot arcs about Gormogons or Jasmines. So really what we need is something that already has a great plot, but can be adapted for The Dave without the need to introduce annoying pointless characters who wreck ewverything.

And thus was born: The Dickens/Zombie/The Dave Extravaganza - an entire season of Dickens adaptations containing all the blood, gore and zombies that Dickens would have intended if he had been alive when the Evil Dead movies came out. Nicholas Zombilby, Zombie Expectations, Bleak Zombie, Zombie Twist, A Zombie of Two Cities, the Zombie Tollbooth - the possibilities are varied and marvellous.

Also I think Lindsey should be in it, because I just watched Dead End and I had forgotten how entertaining his big gay unrequited crush on Angel was. And really, if there was ever anyone who deserved to get savaged by zombies, it was... well, actually it was Gavin, because he REALLY sucked, but watching terrible things happen to Lindsey was a key aspect of Angel in my house. Also, Leverage is a bit rub and he doesn't get his hand cut off or ANYTHING, so let's go back to traditional values, where getting in the way of justice means you get your parts cut off. YAY!

The Dave digs.
The Dave wears a hat.
The Dave rescues puppies.
The Dave hugs distraught children.
The Dave wears a white vest.
The Dave broods.
The Dave does the Angel Dance.
The Angel Dance must now also include a part where he plays air instruments.
The Dave uses his Charm Smile on someone.
The Dave punches people.
The Dave pistol whips people (this bit is super-important - these days, if someone isn't getting pistol-whipped, I don't feel I've been entertained).
The Dave smashes down doors.
The Dave is involved in a brutal, knock-down drag-out fist fight that lasts no less than ten on-screeen minutes.
The Dave sulks.
The Dave makes his "please don't seduce me" face.
The Dave is cranky.
The Dave is inappropriately giddy.

Man, how ACTION-PACKED is the second season of Jericho? See Jake fly a plane! See Mister Hawkins kill about eighteen thousand guys with his bare hands! See missiles! See stabbings! See Texas save the world! See The Dave's old boss wear a crazy moustache!

And, don't get me wrong, I love car chases and exciting PLANE WARS as much as anyone, but the first season had these really beautiful quiet moments that were just about like, people being people, and didn't involve X-TREME ACTION TO THE MAXX, and I felt that because they were only given seven episodes to wrap the whole thing up, it was all about Jake and Mister Hawkins beating everyone up and so we didn't get that same feeling of... humanness, I guess... that we did in season one, because it was all RARGH NO THE GOVERNMENT IS EVIL AND OWNED BY CORPORATE AMERICA HODGINS WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG RARGH!

Also, I am calling him Mister Hawkins because every time I go to write Hawkins by itself I keep thinking I mean Ben from Carnivale and then I get really confused - is he healing folks or breaking necks? Actually, Ben would probably break necks if he had to, but then he would have to brood and look pretty for the next two episodes, whereas in Jericho brooding and looking pretty is clearly Jake's role. Mister Hawkins has no time for brooding - he only has time for KICKING TERRORIST ASS!

Also! ( Read more... )

Also! I am very sad that the mysterious John Smith did not in fact turn out to be a school-masterly David Tennant. That would have been awesome - David Tennant and Lennie James in a knock-down drag-out fight over a nuclear warhead would have been So Cool.

So in conclusion: it was cool, but CBS are fucking retards and it should never have been cancelled.

Into the West is alright, but like all other shows about the Wild West that are not Deadwood, it suffers from an excess of not being Deadwood. Also, Skeet Ulrich has a stupid beard and Christian Kane is possibly the worlds least convincing Lakota Indian, and his pigtails are stupid. So, fail. Mr Ellsworth needs to give them both a good talking to if you ask me.

I was going to write something about the Once a Thief TV series here, but I need to go find Jericho porn, so I'll just say Krycek = Pretty and have done with it. He is pretty though.

PS: I guess if somebody wanted to write me Jacob/Jethro porn, I might reconsider my take on Into the West. Lindsey will always be stupid, though.

There is a guy on my course whose name I cannot recall, but who is forever emblazoned in my mind as the guy who said "Cricket" when the property law lecturer asked what environmental issues a potential homebuyer would look into, and hinted that it had been on the news a lot recently. For this reason, I call him Cricket. He looks kinda like Lindsey McDonald but with better hair. I keep looking at him and wondering if he has ickle tattooes under his clothes. Then I wonder if he has a stalker's shrine to Angel in his bedroom.

I think the answer is yes.

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...way out on the corner of fucked up and evil...

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