froodle | Entries tagged with history boys

So I went to see Captain America last night. It was pretty good; nothing about it was particularly MIND BLOWING OH MY GOD AWESOME, but it was a fun action movie. Plus it had Dakin from the History Boys being beautiful and wearing a waistcoat while pretending to be RDJ's dad. He wasn't in it enough, to my mind, but then I would probably have had the whole film being about Dakin and his cheerleaders (oh Tony! So very much your father's son!) and his waistcoats and love of melty cheese.

Afterwards, Alex and I got fish and chips and ate them looking out over the headlands at the sea and I was bitching and moaning about Bleach and he mentioned that his favourite bit in the entire series is when the dude who has a fox for a head finds out that Aizen has seduced his little blind mate over to the Dark Side and he grows all massive and is like, "AAAAIIIIIZZZZEEEEEEENNNNNNNNN!" and starts hulk-smashing the shit out of all the buildings around him while rolling his eyes in a crazy way and showing his little sharp fox teeth, because it's totally over-acted in both languages and basically it's a giant fox doing Shatner's "KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNN!" thing, but even funnier because, you know, it's a giant fox.

And now I keep thinking how much everything ever would be improved if it had a giant fox dude just going mental and yelling "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIZZZZZZZEEEEEENNNN!" and smashing stuff up. I think the giant fox dude should be the baddie in the Avengers movie next year. RDJ and the-ginger-guy-from-Fantastic-Four-who-sometimes-is-also-Jensen-from-the-Losers versus a giant aggro fox dude would rule.

In fact, I'm avoiding working on my Bureau-fic because I'm genuinely worried that I will write a scene where a giant fox dude just starts wrecking the place and yelling "AAAAAIIIIIIZZZZZEEEENNNN!" for no particular reason. And obviously I want to save that scene for the big dramatic finale, not waste it mid-way through the story. That would just be dumb.

Dudes, why isn't there a sequel to Heathers? WHY?! At least with other fandoms where there isn't enough canon to go around (Once Upon a Time in Mexico, for example, or the History Boys, or even to a lesser extent SWAT) I can console myself with massive amounts of ~~porn~~ err... well thought-out additions to the universe originally laid out in the movies. But with Heathers, there's nobody carrying on the torch - JD explodes, Veronica smokes, Martha Dumptruck does donuts with her scooter thing, and that's the lot.

Man, somebody write me a sequel to Heathers. JD should be like this mean hallucination and trying to get Veronica to kill some dudes, and you'd never be sure if she's just seeing him because she's nuts or because he is a spooky ghost of evil! And then at the end, Betty Finn would be the baddie! It would rock.

More JD. More Agent Sands. More Gamble/Street porn. That's pretty much this post in ten words or less.

Somebody help me decide what to watch now. I am sad because nothing I own is Heathers 2: the Stabbening. Suggest things!

Oh God, you guys! I was going to write a post here about how we should all vote for Todd as our next Prime Minister, and then maybe let him eat our old government once he wins (landslide victory, running on a "wearing black leather and eating people" platform) but I just watched Lost Boys 2: the Tribe, and oh, it was beautiful beyond words! I mean, okay, I got a bit annoyed with the gratuitous titty shots, but all of those people died, so that's okay. Andandand Corey Feldman! And make sure you watch the credits and the alternate scenes and just generally revel in how completely unexpectedly WONDERFUL it is.

Don't watch the music videos, though. They are lame.

Also, if anyone wants to earn my undying love, they will write Lost Boys 2 porn. Any pairing, I don't even care, I love them all so much.

In news that involves neither vampires nor imaginary life-sucking aliens running for office, I am very displeased with the non-studliness of the actors being cast to play werewolves over the last two decades. I mean, Jack Nicholson and Hugh Jackman, I can totally understand, but James Spader? The French guy from SWAT? Josh from Dead Man on Campus? Fucking Pacey?!* Also, how is Jack Nicholson versus James Spader in any way a contest? I could kick the shit out of James Spader. Scooter the Happy Pony could kick the shit out of James Spader. So could a small bundle of twigs and your daddy. Working seperately. For the edification of future film-makers, I have compiled a list of actors who have a level of studliness adequate for playing a werewolf**. Read it, learn it, live it.

his

As you can see, there are plenty of studly actors to choose from when making your werewolf movie. So please stop casting little wussy he-bitches unless they're Shawn from the 4400 or Robert Greysmith from Zodiac. Actually, if anyone wants to do a werewolf sequel to Zodiac, replete with Paul/Robert sexin', I will sell you my first-born child.

*Uh, those last two are seperate issues, I didn't mean it as "Josh from Dead Man on Campus fucking Pacey". Cooper would cut Pacey like the little bitch that he is, were that the case.

**Where I didn't know, or just couldn't be bothered to look up, an actors name, I just listed him under a character name.

his

Oh no, you guys, a terrible thing has happened! See, there I was, innocently enjoying a day filled with zombies and/or Cillian Murphy, minding my own business, not doing anything mean to anybody (for a change). And I'm about half-way through 28 Days Later, and part of me is enjoying the zombie monkey action while another part is wondering why Cillian Murphy insists on starring in films that, with the exception of Batman Begins, either suck or require him to be not-hot*.

And then. THEN! I realise that the evil Army dude who keeps zombies chained up in his garden, stupidly within reach of clean laundry, is Christopher... well, I can't remember how to spell his last name, but the Potato-Headed Doctor Who! And he's all, "Oh Cillian Murphy, I shall make you my own personal Boy Wench," and Cillian Murphy is all, "I would rather be stabbed in the throat with a PEN!" and then violence happens, and now my brain is all, "Dude, we should write some kind of Doctor Who/28 Days Later crossover with perhaps ADDED JACKSON RIPNER and inappropriately feminine scarves!" and I am entirely disgusted with myself.

Although not so disgusted that I didn't immediately go looking for such fic, and feel disappointed when I found none.

Oh, and also? The Wind That Shakes The Barley is SHIT! All of Ireland should be nuked in punishment for that film. Fuck you, Ireland, even Skeet Ulrich and JAMES REMAR cannot save you now.

*Please note, I am not denying that he was very pretty in Breakfast on Pluto, it's just that my own personal preference for Cillian Murphy does not extend to Fishnet Stockings Flavoured Cillian. Unless he gets it on with Dakin. That would be acceptable.

Well, well, well. Once again, I must apologise for leaving you bereft and Froodless for such a long time. In my defence, the last couple of weeks have been MADNESS, of the very best sort. Kicking off with THE BEST HALLOWEEN EVER, in which I gave myself a headache with my Medusa costume, made myself sick by eating too many cakes, was asked to be a Godmother (mwahaha, the Church of Liamneeson lives!), actually got Trick-or-Treaters who weren't chavs, had a powercut on Halloween night, and took many pictures that will be used to embarrass my fellow revellers once they are staid and responsible parents. Although they can't be all that responsible, because really, who makes someone like me responsible for a childs' religious edutainment?

Laterwards, I and Snithy both succumbed to the wonders of Newly Hot David Boreanaz, in the guise of swoon-inducing FBI agent... uh, I forget what his name was, but it was stupid. Anyway, he's Totally Hot and shoots things and digs and threatens to shoot gender-ambiguous lab assistants for asking him about his sex life. Needless to say, it totally rules.

Then, as if such Halloweeny and David Boreanazy joy wasn't enough, it was my birthday, which I celebrated in the best tradition of Making People Buy Me Stuff, which was cool even though I didn't get a monkey or a dancing baby penguin. I did see the History Boys (awesome), the Prestige (stupid plot twist barely compensated for by having Hughverine and Batbale wear top hats) and the Departed (which would have been awesome if not for MAtt Damon, and when I say Matt Damon you have to imagine me saying it in the voice of the Matt Damon puppet from Team America, because that is exactly how I feel about Matt Damon.)

Also, I finally got around to watching Carnivale, which is... interesting. I feel bad for Libby, though; her mother's a whore, her father is weak and ineffectual and her sister is dead, and now I reckon Jonesy has a bit of a mancrush on Ben since the Laying On Of Hands. Also, Lodz is creepy. Like, way, way creepier than Brother Justin. Also, there should be more bears. Take a hint from Lost, writers; bears are awesome.

Also, Snithy, you will be gleeified to know that the cheque for Wicked is in the post, complete with deathly hamsters of death and possibly some lumberjacks, and that I have booked my ticket to... Cornwall or Colchester or wherever it is you live. And if your home town does not prove to be the pit of moonshine-swilling hillbillies I imagined it to be, I will be most displeased.