...way out on the corner of fucked up and evil...

I went to see Fright Night yesterday. FAILED SO HARD, you guys. I think Colin Farrell and I are now on the path to major, final breakup. The dialogue wasn't funny or clever, the comedic timing was way off (and jesus, you have the Tenth Doctor, the star of In Bruges, and Red Mist all playing major roles, how do you get all three of them to somehow not be hilarious?) there was no plot to speak of and basically everyone was a complete window-licking dullard. Also, Jerry semephored that he was a vampire so hard, that even if you were the kind of person who automatically discounts "oh, he's a vampire" as an explanation for neighbour-based weirdness, you would still think he was a massive creeposaurus.

Also, Colin Farrell's vampire form was this massive fake-head thing that make him look like the kid from Battle Dib. Every time he turned into it, part of me was expecting him to start screaming "SHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNKKKK!" and beating Jailbait Chekov with an over-sized cotton wool bud. The only bits that raised a smile was whenever Jerry got really badly injured, he would do this weird "epilectic on meth" seizure dance thing.

At least it was only an hour and a half long. Even so, it felt like marathoning all three extended editions of Lord of the Rings back-to-back, except for the bit where Lord of the Rings was entertaining. What a waste of talent - in the time they used filming this piece of shit, Colin Farrell and David Tennant could have made one decent film each. That's two decent films that will never get made now. Red Mist and Jailbait Chekov could probably have made something less epicly retarded.

And yes, this is coming from someone who rates Lost Boys 3: the Thirst as a solid three out of five. Well done, Colin Farrell - you just rated lower than a straight-to-video Corey Feldman movie. You must be so proud.

There was a trailer for this new Hugh Jackman movie that appears to be about Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots. I do not understand. Tintin looks shit, the Puss in Boots movie looks superfluous, and for some reason Disney is showing the Lion King in 3D and marketing it as "for the first time ever!" Christ, just admit that you've run out of ideas, Disney. Paranormal Whatever 3 looks like an over-long cut of the Bloody Mary episode of Supernatural, and the new Sherlock Holmes movie looks alright.

In other news, I have been catching up on Carnivale - the creepiest thing about Evander Geddes isn't that he suffocates little kids with plaster of paris just so he can take casts of their death agonies - it's that bit where he explains to Ben that his objective is "to capture the soul". Because in Carnivale, that is TOTALLY FEASIBLE. Urgh!

I have been watching the Shield, too - thus far, I rate it "quite good." Possibly I will write more when I know people's names. So far all I know is CCH Pounder, who is in everything. She is a police lady. She does police things. Her partner is kind of a spaz, but is quite good at detectoring. There is a bald man. The bald man is basically in charge. He has three little friends who are like his Crime Army. There's another dude who I think is supposed to be in charge, but everyone hates him and likes the bald man best. The other dude is pretty sour about it. CCH Pounder and her spaz-detecting friend don't seem to care either way - they just like to detect stuff. I don't know. I might be wrong.

Okay, who here has seen Suck? Because I think you need to tell me about it. I saw the trailer and it looked kind of fun and silly and wonderful but then I go online and everyone is like RARGH I HATE SUCK IT IS RETARDED, so I need people to clarify - is it retarded like Prince of Persia and Van Helsing and SWAT, where it;s dumb but also COMPLETELY BEAUTIFUL, or retarded like Queen of the Damned, where I'm going to want to rip off my own face due to boredom and despair 40 minutes in?

Comment to this entry and I will pick three of your fandoms. You must then update your journal and answer the following questions:

I was given American Gothic, Carnivale and X-Men.

1. What got you into this fandom in the first place?
American Gothic: I got some gift vouchers at work and it was on sale in HMV for a ridiculously low price. I initially confused it with Twin Peaks, resulting in some very weird looks on the way home when I was happily babbling about wee evil dudes in cowboy boots and a friend saying (in a highly offended tone) "Gary Cole isn't wee!" Anyway, I decided to give it a whirl anyway as I love shows about spooky happenings in small towns and it seemed like a win. So I put it on and it's like, HO DUDES THERE IS THIS TOTALLY EVIL SHERIFF DUDE! AND OH MY GOD THERE'S THIS WEE BLONDE DOCTOR WHO'S TOTALLY SNARKY! AND THEY'RE LIKE ENEMIES BUT SECRETLY THEY'RE A BIT GAY FOR EACH OTHER! Also, Caleb was lovely and sympathetic and not at all annoying like most kids on TV, so that was win. But yeah, at first it was the whole Lucas/Doctor Matt thing.
Carnivale: The first season was a present on my birthday - I took it home, watched the first three episodes and was right there the next day getting season two. I loved the opening sequence, I loved Sampson's monologue at the start of episode one, I loved how bleak the whole look and feel of the show was. I also really liked how you couldn't tell which Avatar was the Avatar of Light and which one was the Avatar of Darkness for like... pretty much until the first half of season two, really, although apparently that wasn't intentional. I loved that all the characters had their parts to play - there wasn't anyone there who felt superfluous. I loved Rita Sue because she was tough and smart and kind of a bitch with it. I loved Ben because he was so damaged and so completely without social skills. I loved that you had to think your way through each episode instead of being spoonfed everything.
X-Men: Like most 80s children, my first exposure to it was the cartoon that used to air on Fox Kids. Of course, in my case they seemed to endlessly repeat the Dark Phoenix Saga, which lead me to a) assume that the stories were always about Jean and Scott and b) to really hate Jean and Scott. I did, however, develop a kind of pre-pubescent crush/hero worship thing with Storm and Rogue. I desperately wanted Rogue's hair and beautiful Southern accent, along with Storm's poise and self-assurance and, of course, absolutely kick-ass powers. The first X-Men movie, while a lot of fun and containing plenty of Hugh Jackman in leather - surely the best kind of Hugh Jackman - didn't really bring my adolescent self back into the fold. I was a little busy with Pokemon by then. But then X-Men: Evolution came out and I fell in love. Kurt was so adorable and Pietro was so hilarious and, God, even Scott was semi-likable.

2. Do you think you will stay in this fandom or eventually move on?
American Gothic: It went off the air in like, '96, and it only ran for a single season, so there isn't much of a fandom to speak of. However, if anyone ever wants to squeal with me about how awesome it was, I am more than happy to oblige.
Carnivale: Again, there's not a whole lot in the way of fandom - I do think it's another one of those shows that I'll rewatch over and over and have minor gleefits about, and again, you are all welcome to join me.
X-Men: With Evo having ended a few years ago, that part of the fandom is pretty much dead. I will always love Hugh Jackman in leather, and I do like the Ultimate X-Men comics, but I would say I already have.

3. What are your favorite episodes/books/movies/etc?
American Gothic: To Hell and Back, the Beast Within and the Plague Sower. To Hell and Back is, for all it's ostensibly about Doctor Matt and his wife and daughter, completely gay. The Beast Within is hilarious - I love how totally mean Lucas is about Archie and the prospect of soldiers in the psych ward getting blown up. The others are all like, we have to save Archie! and Lucas is all, "I don't care about that Jarhead!" And then Gail is all, wahh, hundreds of people will die, and Lucas is like, "Yeah, hundreds of crazy people," and it's so mean and heartless and wonderful. I love when Ben refers to his kid's stepfather "the Bionic Man." I love the way Caleb says "I hate you" with such venom in his voice. I love that Doctor Matt punches Lucas and Lucas responds by decking him. Plague Sower is lovely because it showcases what a great kid Caleb is, and the empathy and mercy he feels for the people around him, and the importance he places on love. I liked that it was part of a darker character arc for Merlyn, and I like that Doctor Matt's version of "going mental" mostly involves highlighting everything.
Carnivale: Babylon, because it was fucking terrifying. Over the course of the episode there's this mounting sense of dread that rises to a point where it's almost unbearable - the sense of impending doom is so vivid, it's almost a seperate character in itself. Then there's the scene at the very end, where Sampson sees Dora Mae standing in the window of the bar, and he makes this face that's somewhere between a sob and gagging as if he's about to throw up, and the full horror of it crashes down on you as the credits roll.
X-Men: Survival of the Fittest, purely for that bit where Avalanche and Scott get into it and Lance pushes Scott into the river and Jean's all, "Scott is far too mature to sink to that level" and then Scott (off-camera) fully eye-beams Lance into the water. Joyride, for that scene at the end where Bobby's all, "Yeah, we stole loads of things - the X-Jet, the X-Coptor, Wolverine's motorcycle..." and Wolverine's all like, "My motercycle?!" and Bobby's like, "Ummm bye!" The Hex Factor, for Pietro's girly "Wanda!" scream and for the X-Men getting totally curb-stomped during the battle in the mall. No Good Deed for the random old dude who glomps Todd.

4. Do you participate in this fandom (fan fiction, graphics, discussion, etc.)?
American Gothic: Again, there's not really much by way of fandom, though if it comes up I am right there with the squeeing and the hand-clapping. I am a shockingly bad writer, so a lack of fanfiction from me can only be seen as a good thing.
Carnivale: Again, not much in the way of fandom, although I have read a couple of astoundingly good fics involving Ben'spower and the circumstances that have him shackled in a chain gang before the start of the series.
X-Men: Aside from a little Evo-squealing and leather Jackman appreciation? Not really.

5. Do you think that people should get into this fandom?
American Gothic: YES! You should all watch it and be amazed at it's beautifulness and write lots and lots of fic for me to read.
Carnivale: Oh God yes! Not even for selfish reasons this time, do it for yourselves. Carnivale's a masterpiece. You won't be sorry.
X-Men: I'm certainly not adverse to a little post-X2 Wolverine/Scott porn, or some Logan/Victor action set around the time of the Wolverine movie. If we're talking Evo, let's have some Lance/Pietro and Scott/Kurt action.

God, there are some right divs at the House of Gas. The fire alarm went off today and, I kid you not, our fire warden stood there in the middle of the corridor, blocking the way, bleating about whether or not we knew where the assembly point for our call centre was in the event of a fire. I was like, "Hmm, is it perchance outside of the burning building?" How do these people make it to adulthood? Fuckwad.

Anyway, some important points to note:

• The Wolverine movie is beautiful. It's a bit soap-opera-ish with the evil long lost brother thing and of course it has Gambit in (boo!) but really, this is about Hugh Jackman wearing leather and lots of hairspray, and a flimsy excuse for a plot strung together wuth awesomely choreographed fight scenes.
  
  
• Hairspray has a bit wrecked the earlier X-Men movies for me. Well, not X3, that one came pre-wrecked. But now I cannot look at Cyclops without seeing Corny Collins and wanting him to dance and sing and be massively inappropriate on a daytime kids TV show. And then I feel sad when it doesn't happen.
  
  
• If the Wolverine movie is beautiful, then Coraline is even more beautiful. I cannot describe the wonder. Go watch!
  
  
• I love the movie version of Interview with the Vampire. I sometimes forget how much I love it because I'm a bit shallow and there's nobody I really think is hot in there,* and also nowadays it's a bit tainted from the combined batshittery of Tom Cruise and Anne Rice, but I was watching it on Sunday and as soon as I heard those first few bars in the opening sequence, all my love for it came rushing back.
  
  
• The first half of the fourth season of Supernatural is semi-awesome. That's not the same as being full-on good, by the way. It's like, a bit good. There's a lifesized walking, talking, suicidal teddy bear (awesome), a stubbly angel who's a bit gay for Dean (awesome), an episode which is basically Supernatural does the Universal Studios Monster Mash (awesome to the power of a sideways eight thing) and BUNNY! Unfortunately, there's also creepy Padaleckisex, the stubbly angel isn't as stubbly or as overtly gay for Dean as I feel he could be, and Bunny is really mean. To like, everyone. Oh Bunny, how have we come to this? Also, there were these totally mean witches who tried to ruin Halloween for everyone. Boo, mean witches! You're lucky it was only Sam and Dean that showed up to punish you with guns. If Jack Skellington had been there, then you'd be sorry.
  
  
• I had better have pig flu! I feel like shit and the only thing keeping me from curling up and dying in misery is the thought that I am actively spreading a contagion that will wipe out billions of humans. If this turns out just to be a bad cold, I will be pissed.
  
  
• The Assassination of Jesse James is soooooooo booooring. Casey Affleck may be mildly less hideous than his sibling, but they are both gaping voids in the fabric of the universe, into which any semblence of talent or charisma is dragged, screaming, into the darkness, ne'er to return. Also, it is so badly directed, they have to have some random narrate what's going on in every scene.

Anyway, I think that's all the important life lessons I learnt this week - I trust you will all take them on board and be enriched by my wisdom. I'm going to watch the Wire and bemoan Bunny's fall from grace. Oh Bunny!

*Okay, it has Christian Slater, but he's in it for like ten minutes, and althoughg Antonio Banderas is normally hot, let's face it, white base and a Morticia Addams wig are not a good look for him.

Notes From This Weekend:

• Cadillac Records is fucking awesome. Also, Beyonce is totally not-fail as an actress. I wasn't even a little bit embarrassed for her at any point. Well done, Beyonce.
  
• Push is okay. It has Papa Midnite as the main baddie, and he's cool, but the main dude is like the love child of Dean Winchester and that dude who plays Dracula in Blade: Trinity. Not as hot as it sounds, guys. Also, the cast list was all, NOW WITH ADDED TOM BALDWIN! and then I watched it and Tom Baldwin was in it for like ten seconds before he died. Not cool, Push. We do not go around killing beautiful earnest Tom Baldwin.
  
• Zachary Quinto was put on this earth to torment me. They showed the trailer of the new Star Trek movie and I swear, it's like God is sitting there going, "Hey Froodle, here's a really seriously fucking hot guy for you to stare at, but the catch is, every time you see him on-screen, he's going to be playing a character that you want to kick in the nuts." Why, Zachary Quinto? Why?!
  
• There is a new Fast and Furious movie. Paul Walker was being failsome and excessively American as usual. Vin Diesel was being retardatical as usual. It was all very disgraceful.
  
• CORALINE WHY ARE YOU NOT OUT YET?
  
• Likewise, WOLVERINE MOVIE WHY ARE YOU NOT OUT YET?
  
• Mohinder, you fail at science so much. I am completely filled with distain for you. SCIENTISTS! PLEASE DO NOT INJECT YOURSELF WITH UNTESTED SHITTERY! IT NEVER ENDS WELL!
  
• I really hate Woody Allen. Honestly, I want to kick him in the nuts so badly, Zachary Quinto will probably end up playing him in the biopic. Cassandra Dreams is fucktarded beyond belief. How anyone can take Colin Farrell and Ewan McGregor and turn it into a bloated, self-important, mind-numbingly dull wankfest is beyond me.
  
• Profit is beautiful. Oh Profit. You are my only friend.
  
• The fact that there is yet another Underworld movie makes me hate God.

On a totally unrelated note, the House of Gas has arranged an hour and a half lecture on the Golden Ratio and Fibonacci sequences. At work. For the workers. Except that if you're scheduled to be on the 'phones, you don't get to go, which begs the question, who the fuck is expecting a bunch of phone-monkeys to give up their free time to go to a lecture, at work, on advanced mathematical concepts? Are we going to be fighting crime with them? Will the FBI and adorkable curly-headed mathematicians be involved? No? Fuck off then. I'm just so confused by the rational behind it - most of our retardo customers can't add VAT to a fuel bill without having a meltdown - is this something King Gas thinks is going to be useful in our day to day lives? WHAT IS GOING ON?!

Oh God, you guys! I was going to write a post here about how we should all vote for Todd as our next Prime Minister, and then maybe let him eat our old government once he wins (landslide victory, running on a "wearing black leather and eating people" platform) but I just watched Lost Boys 2: the Tribe, and oh, it was beautiful beyond words! I mean, okay, I got a bit annoyed with the gratuitous titty shots, but all of those people died, so that's okay. Andandand Corey Feldman! And make sure you watch the credits and the alternate scenes and just generally revel in how completely unexpectedly WONDERFUL it is.

Don't watch the music videos, though. They are lame.

Also, if anyone wants to earn my undying love, they will write Lost Boys 2 porn. Any pairing, I don't even care, I love them all so much.

In news that involves neither vampires nor imaginary life-sucking aliens running for office, I am very displeased with the non-studliness of the actors being cast to play werewolves over the last two decades. I mean, Jack Nicholson and Hugh Jackman, I can totally understand, but James Spader? The French guy from SWAT? Josh from Dead Man on Campus? Fucking Pacey?!* Also, how is Jack Nicholson versus James Spader in any way a contest? I could kick the shit out of James Spader. Scooter the Happy Pony could kick the shit out of James Spader. So could a small bundle of twigs and your daddy. Working seperately. For the edification of future film-makers, I have compiled a list of actors who have a level of studliness adequate for playing a werewolf**. Read it, learn it, live it.

Colin Farrel
Daddy Winchester
Ian McShane
Adam Baldwin
Edward James Olmos
James Remarr
Edward Norton
Keifer Sutherland
Idina Menzel (yes, just as it is possible for a man to be man-pretty, it is possible for a woman to be girl-studly)
Liam Neeson
Colin Farrel (so studly, he gets listed twice)
Idris Elba
Omar
Russel Crowe
Seth Bullock
Joe Flanigan
Christian Bale
Jordan Collier (Shawn can be his little werewolf bitch in this case)
Mark Anthony
Nathan Petrelli
Robert Downey Jnr (Jake Gyllenhaal can be his little werewolf bitch)
Denzel Washington
Gabriel Byrne
Ryan O'Reilly
Gerard Butler
Brendan Fraser
Scripps

As you can see, there are plenty of studly actors to choose from when making your werewolf movie. So please stop casting little wussy he-bitches unless they're Shawn from the 4400 or Robert Greysmith from Zodiac. Actually, if anyone wants to do a werewolf sequel to Zodiac, replete with Paul/Robert sexin', I will sell you my first-born child.

*Uh, those last two are seperate issues, I didn't mean it as "Josh from Dead Man on Campus fucking Pacey". Cooper would cut Pacey like the little bitch that he is, were that the case.

**Where I didn't know, or just couldn't be bothered to look up, an actors name, I just listed him under a character name.

Oh my God, I hate buses. Because I was out of town last week, I didn't realise they were striking in Leeds yesterday so like a total plank I waited in the RAIN and the COLD and the DARK and then I had to walk into town where MORE WAITING OCCURED and I was an hour and a quarter late and my manager had the nerve to give me attitude, like I really fucking planned to stand outside that long and maybe get frostbitten toes. And now I owe James cake and/or a monkey holding a puppy for giving me a lift home, and that just WOUNDS MY PRIDE!

But, in gooder news, I now own the second season of new Doctor Who (Genevieve, I blame you for encouraging me to gaze in wonderment at David "way better at being Casanova than Heath Ledger, that knave" Tennent) and HAH! Fiyero is the Prime Minister's aide. It is totally awesome and hilarious and wrongsick all at once, because his voice is MADE OF POSHNESS and it's almost a parody of poshness and then he has to say "rock!" in that voice and it makes me laugh. Although, the Doctor was totally whingy when the Prime Minister blew up those stupid aliens, like slave-trading mind-trick-playing aliens are such a loss to the world. And he's like, waahh, they were leaving, waah, and she's like, yeah, to RETURN WITH MORE ALIEN HOMIES AND ENSLAVE US ALL and the Doctor gets all on his high horse about how evil humanity is, like we didn't already know that we're capable of some of the scuzziest actions in the universe. I mean, I know that, and I haven't been around for squillions of years. Also, I would have done exactly the same thing, only burnier and more painful and, if at all possible, to their children. Because nobody wants a blood feud, am I right? Yeah, I should be the Prime Minister. I'm going to make that my platform when I run for office: A VOTE FOR FROODLE IS A VOTE FOR DEAD ALIEN BABIES! Who's with me?

Also, I have vowed to cut my moaning about Temperance Brennan by at least 20%, based purely on the fact that she makes fun of short people. And encourages My Man Dave to do the same. There should be more mocking of people with genetic conditions on shows that are not House. MOCK FOR JESUS!

Anyway, I am running out of time here and there are potatoes that need eating at home, so I shall just leave you with my thoughts on Happy Feet:- it wasn't as good as the trailer made it look, Robin Williams ruins everything and Hugh Jackman is much more believable as an Elvis-penguin than he is as a posh rat from London. I would marry Memphis. YES EVEN THOUGH HE IS A PENGUIN! Except, of course, I would never cheat on Idina.

Well, well, well. Once again, I must apologise for leaving you bereft and Froodless for such a long time. In my defence, the last couple of weeks have been MADNESS, of the very best sort. Kicking off with THE BEST HALLOWEEN EVER, in which I gave myself a headache with my Medusa costume, made myself sick by eating too many cakes, was asked to be a Godmother (mwahaha, the Church of Liamneeson lives!), actually got Trick-or-Treaters who weren't chavs, had a powercut on Halloween night, and took many pictures that will be used to embarrass my fellow revellers once they are staid and responsible parents. Although they can't be all that responsible, because really, who makes someone like me responsible for a childs' religious edutainment?

Laterwards, I and Snithy both succumbed to the wonders of Newly Hot David Boreanaz, in the guise of swoon-inducing FBI agent... uh, I forget what his name was, but it was stupid. Anyway, he's Totally Hot and shoots things and digs and threatens to shoot gender-ambiguous lab assistants for asking him about his sex life. Needless to say, it totally rules.

Then, as if such Halloweeny and David Boreanazy joy wasn't enough, it was my birthday, which I celebrated in the best tradition of Making People Buy Me Stuff, which was cool even though I didn't get a monkey or a dancing baby penguin. I did see the History Boys (awesome), the Prestige (stupid plot twist barely compensated for by having Hughverine and Batbale wear top hats) and the Departed (which would have been awesome if not for MAtt Damon, and when I say Matt Damon you have to imagine me saying it in the voice of the Matt Damon puppet from Team America, because that is exactly how I feel about Matt Damon.)

Also, I finally got around to watching Carnivale, which is... interesting. I feel bad for Libby, though; her mother's a whore, her father is weak and ineffectual and her sister is dead, and now I reckon Jonesy has a bit of a mancrush on Ben since the Laying On Of Hands. Also, Lodz is creepy. Like, way, way creepier than Brother Justin. Also, there should be more bears. Take a hint from Lost, writers; bears are awesome.

Also, Snithy, you will be gleeified to know that the cheque for Wicked is in the post, complete with deathly hamsters of death and possibly some lumberjacks, and that I have booked my ticket to... Cornwall or Colchester or wherever it is you live. And if your home town does not prove to be the pit of moonshine-swilling hillbillies I imagined it to be, I will be most displeased.

I am shocked and appalled by the fact that there is a sequel to Underworld. I'm sorry, but did everyone concerned in that decision have the segment of their brain that detects things that are shit removed? The thing that annoyed me most about Underworld was that, by all rights, I should have found that movie awesome. Vampires versus Werewolves? That is my kind of movie, right there! I mean, sure, anyone with half a brain could tell you that the werewolves would win, vampires being by their very nature too inclined towards sighing and moping and having angst, whereas werewolves have no angst and simply chow down on your tasty innards, but come on! The whole premise was a recipe for tacky gore-filled awesomeness, and in the end, it just sucked big fat donkey cock all over the big screen.

And really, if any schlocky psuedo-horror movie of the last couple of years deserved a sequel, it should have been Van Helsing. I mean, they already removed the worst thing about that film by having the decency to kill off Anna, paving the way for more awesome hijinx and, of course, the inevitable return of Roxula. A shame they wasted the awesomely pretty Velkan, but still, my point is: better than Underworld, you dozy fucks!

Every time I watch Phantom of the Opera, I wonder why I didn't decide to watch it earlier. It's like, one of the most unintentionally hilarious movies I own. That scene after Christine performed "Think of Me" and Raoul goes to see her in her dressing room afterwards, and the Managers are all, "Shall we introduce you, winkwinknudgenudge?" and he gives them the brush-off and then nicks their flowers? Genius! I mean, this guy is clearly pretty rich, but he just can't be arsed to buy his own bouquet, and that makes me love him. It's just so fucking jammy the way he does it, and that little "Thank you" before he shuts the door in their faces. Awesome!

And Erik? Has no follow-through. I'm convinced that's a big part of his problem right there. I mean, he's got Christine down in the Lair, there's candlelight, heaving busoms (hers), swan bed (his), he's singing "Music of the Night" - and I don't care what you say about Gerard Butler's voice, there wasn't a dry seat in the house when I saw it at the cinema - and she's totally ready to go, all he has to do is move in... and he just keeps on singing! No wonder she got bored and fell asleep. I'm not saying that seduction and foreplay aren't important, but too much is just as bad as too little - next time you get a nubile young soprano down in your subterrenean love nest, try to nail her before she goes off with the flower-nabbing, ugly brown leather jacket-wearing rich boy from the apartment upstairs. I'm just sayin'.

Oh, and Meg? Totally in love with Christine. Again, watch Christine performing "Think of Me" and there's this shot of Meg standing in the wings looking all sad and rejected and Madame Giry comes up and squeezes her shoulder, all, "My poor, poor, unrequited-in-love daughter". Poor Meg.

Now I'm in the mood for more campy gothic anti-heroes, so it's off to watch Van Helsing I go.